I AM...MANY THINGS

An update in pictures...

2011-07-12T14:04:00.000-04:00

...because Lord knows I'm too tired for actual words.

Evie's "happy" face is hilarious:

Yesterday sucked.

2011-06-22T22:31:00.000-04:00

For me, staying at home is a challenge. And by "staying at home" I mean actually staying at home, as in inside the house. You see, it's much easier to strap the kids to a stroller and push them through a store, park, etc. than it is to keep them entertained at home. At home, there's a list of chores staring you in the face; the dishes piled in the sink, the mountain range of laundry waiting to be put away, the colonies of dust bunnies mocking you from underneath every piece of furniture you own. They're all there, taunting you; "clean me!" "fold me!" "organize me!" Then there are those pesky children (kidding of course...sort of) adding to the chaos with their crumbs and pleads. "Help me!" "Play with me!" "Clean me!" "Feed me!" "Dance with me!" "Look at me!"

It's a lot to handle.

But you know what makes it truly difficult. Guilt. The guilt that, while at home, you don't play with your kids enough, that there isn't enough for them to do, that you're secretly praying for rain so that you don't have to push the tricycle up the street again. Meanwhile, you haven't done laundry or defrosted anything for dinner and the dog hasn't eaten in like two days.

For all these reasons, I sometimes find going out easier than staying in. But at what cost?

Honestly, after too many days of being out and about, I start to feel a bit out of touch. Out of touch with what life is really about; what childhood is really about. I start craving slow mornings spent in pajamas, bread baking, puzzle building, book reading, wholesome lunches, rainy day movies, and afternoons in the yard. So, why then, do my days never turn out this way?

Why don't my days look like the days' of the other moms whose blogs I read? You know, the ones who homeschool a billion children and yet still have the time and patience to play in the mud, bake a pie, read the bible, sew a dress, nurse a baby, and maintain a blog?

Sure, our mornings start off well enough; a little breakfast, morning cartoons, a few books read on the couch, but as the day progresses (and I get busier) it becomes just a whole lot of "Evie, be nice," "Evie, please stop," "Evie, please get down," "Evie...please!" and so on and so forth. By the time lunch rolls around forks are being swatted out of my hand, bad words are being thrown about (not by me, mind you), threats are being made, and blood pressure is rising.

Cue the guilt; that little voice that says "she's acting this way because she's bored," "She's bored because there's not enough for her to do," "you aren't engaging her enough," "You should be playing with her more," "Other moms can do it, why can't you? They even have beautiful pictures to prove it" etc. etc.

Well you know what? That voice is wrong. It has to be. She's acting this way because she's two. She's bored because she's used to me playing with her often and now I have to divide my time a bit more. And really, I think I play enough. As for those other blogs with all the happy pictures of their well-behaved children? They probably struggle just the same. That's life. We're human and imperfect.

I'm a good mom. So what if I don't want to dance like Cinderella for the 35th time today? I did it for the previous 34 requests. Who cares if we have carbs for breakfast just about every morning? The toast and bagels are whole wheat and the cream cheese is a good source of calcium. What's the big deal if she gets bored? I have a household to maintain and people to feed. It'll do her some good to learn about responsibility and hard work.

Right?

I'm going to go with "yes," and just cross my fingers that I'm not doing any real, permanent damage, because while it may at times be "easier" to go out and spend my day at a Barnes and Noble or Target, in the long run, it doesn't really fix anything. It's like trying to buy your kids love and respect with a new toy; it never works. When the toy loses it's appeal the behavior returns with a vengeance. So I've decided to stop beating myself up about it all.

I'm not a perfect mom, but if God trusts me with not just one but two of these perfect little people, then I must be good enough.

Starting now...

2011-06-07T17:45:00.000-04:00

For every dirty dish that makes me cringe, I will think of grilled corn on the cob and ice-cold watermelon with friends.

For every crumb I step on, I will think of ice-cream-covered toddler faces.

For every pile of laundry scattered about, I will think of sun-kissed cheeks and trips to the zoo.

For every sleepless hour that passes, I will think of quiet breakfast dates with my boy.

For every toddler tantrum thrown, I will think of stormy nights spent cuddled close watching movies.

For every toy strewn across my floor, I will think of breezy after-dinner walks to the park.

For every minute of rushed dinner preparation, I will think of weekend family breakfasts of blueberry pancakes and hot coffee.

For every pile of aggravating clutter that I encounter, I will think of early morning trips to the bookstore with my girl.

For every second of whining I hear, I will whistle, and sing this song...loudly if need be.

For every "give me that," "no!" or 'it's mine" uttered, I will think of the look on my big girl's face whenever she gets a "fuprise" (surprise).

For every inconvenient diaper explosion, I will think of long, meandering weekend drives with the hubby.

And for every negative thought that enters my overly-active mind, I will think of a giant iced white mocha (extra ice) and remind myself of just how lucky I am.

Why?

Because it's been two and a half weeks and my baby boy is here, my big girl sleeps in her "big girl bed," my husband is super helpful, summer is here and we're all doing ok.

Because it's been two and a half weeks and I haven't had the giant meltdown I thought I was going to have.

Because I intend to keep it that way.

Because life is too short.

And then there were FOUR!

2011-06-04T22:58:00.001-04:00

These are my kids.

Did you get that? I said "kids." I have TWO children. I want to say "it seems so unreal" or "I just can't believe it," but you know what? It doesn't seem unreal, and I have no problem believing it.

It fits. They fit.

And these past two weeks? Glorious! Having the hubby home was wonderful. My girl got some much needed daddy-time and this mommy got to shower every single day. The best part though wasn't having someone around to bring me water and help with diapers, but rather just having someone (my favorite someone) around to share in the experience...all of it...the diapers, the smiles, the laundry, the tears, the bed time stories, the breakfasts, lunches and dinners. It made me realize just how backwards our society has it. Most of us put in more hours at work than we do with our family and in the end it doesn't pay off. Sure, we may have a bigger house that we get to fill with more stuff, but so what? Wouldn't you rather have more time to do this:

and maybe some of this?

I know I wish we did.

Monday my hubby goes back to work, and while I'm definitely panicking about handling the day to day work of raising two children, I'll mostly just miss his company, his presence, his input.

These are our kids.

And boy do we love them.

I wasn't prepared...

2011-05-23T17:00:00.000-04:00

to love this much.

Welcome to our family my love.

Logan James

May 21, 2011

8lbs 6 oz., 20 in.

What the heck was there to be anxious about?

Things I try oh so hard to remember...

2011-05-19T23:30:00.002-04:00

...every. Single. Day.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4: 6-7)

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Psalm 15:1)

I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you a hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

I am thankful. I have hope. And my future looks bright.

4 days to go! (warning: giant belly pictures ahead)

2011-05-18T08:27:00.000-04:00

8:18am folks! How do you like that! I told you I'd get these to you ;)

(fyi, that big purple scar above my belly button is what happens when you get it pierced at 16 and then have kids 8 years later...whoops)

So there you have it, my 27 pound boulder (and a sneak peek at the new family room in the background).

Virtual Coffee - many hours (ok, weeks late)

2011-05-17T22:01:00.000-04:00

Ok, so it's 8:53pm so I'm not actually having coffee. I am, however, having ice cream. That ok? It's been that kind of day (ahem, week). Nevertheless, I've missed our weekly link ups with Amy, so here goes:

If it was morning and we were meeting for coffee I would probably be having tea instead. It's been tea and toast for two days now. Why? Because I have the cold from hell, and I don't know about you, but when I get a cold I cannot taste a thing.

So yes, a cold. Evie and I (and now the hubs) have horrible colds for this last (rainy) week of my pregnancy; this last week where I had planned on soaking up every last second of my last week of alone time with my girl.

And while we're still getting plenty of alone time, it's not exactly the kind that I had in mind. We've been up all night coughing and sniffling, and have spent most of the day getting on each other's nerves--equally, I think. Evie gets a little batty after too many days cooped up inside, and mommy runs dangerously low on patience. It hasn't been easy.

As a matter of fact, if you really were here for coffee, you'd probably get to experience some of the fun for yourself, because chances are however long you stay Evie is bound to have at least a fit or two. Today's tally was five. Not five whiney, mopey moments, no. Today there were five full fledged, hair-raising, purple-turning meltdowns. And I have to admit, I did not handle the first two well. After being up all night and getting up way too early, I quickly lost patience and yelled back. Then, I had a meltdown of my own. By the time 11am rolled around I was feeling sick, tired, guilty, and like the worst mommy in the world. So we took naps, and when we woke up I vowed to try again.

Sure enough, I was given plenty of opportunities. So, for meltdowns three, four, and five, I remained calm, sat down, and told her she had to speak nicely in order for me to understand what she wanted. She screamed her head off, but eventually got the message...eventually. I'm still not sure I handled it properly, but I did my best.

Anyway, that's enough grumbling from me. If we were really meeting for coffee, I'd beg you to tell me that you too fly off the handle sometimes; that when you or the kids get sick you too let them watch a little more tv than you should. Then I'd ask you how you handle tantrums, and beg you to tell me that it gets easier. And then, just as you're trying to make a run for the door, I'd grab you by the ankles, and plead with you to tell me that on Sunday everything will be fine; that Evie will LOVE the new baby, that she won't get jealous or upset, that she'll adjust well to sharing her mommy, that she won't give daddy a hard time for the three nights that it'll be just the two of them, and that she'll still love her mommy on the days that I don't behave like the good role model I'm supposed to be.

Alright, that is all. You may go. :)

I know I owe you pictures of the new house and my 9 month baby belly, but I've been lazy. Although, not as lazy as I'd like to be because there's still so much to do. But whether or not everything gets done, in just four days we'll be a family of four, and that just completely blows my mind! I can't wait to meet this little boy.

Last month's pictures

2011-05-04T16:32:00.001-04:00

Turns out, one of the random things still laying about the house and NOT packed up in a box was the cable for my camera. So, even though the memory card isn't working, the cable is, which means...pictures!

Here's what you've been missing:

Birthday dinner/ girl's night out with Evie's Godmother Britsy

(back in, umm, April...like April 7th hehe)

Girl loves her cake!

And of course, Easter

Easter egg hunting at a friend's (lovely) home.

(Thanks Sandy & Oma!)

It was my girl's first egg-hunt and she loved every second...

even though this picture says otherwise.

Evie and Genna...the cutest bunnies there.

Back at home.

Her first tricycle, courtesy of Nonno and Nonna!

So that's it. The highlight reel in a sense.

And I know I owe you a 9 month belly pic, but I'm not looking my best at the moment...maybe tomorrow ;)

An update of sorts

2011-04-28T16:04:00.003-04:00

So here's the truth:

I haven't been on here much. I know, it stinks. But I have two really good reasons.

1.) My camera's memory card won't work when I put it in my laptop to upload pictures. Sooo, no pictures = too many wordy posts. I like to hide behind my pictures. Without them, you'd probably get something resembling my latest Facebook updates

Tatiana Sciancalepore -‎80 degree weather + extremely tired little girl who is too sick with the world's worst cold to nap + a mommy who doesn't know what else to do = total suckfest.
Tatiana Sciancalepore -Really hate watching my daughter walk away from me, even if it's to go to my grandma's house. Ick
Tatiana Sciancalepore - I don't think i'll last the two weeks we have left in this town.
Tatiana Sciancalepore -another nap ruined.
Tatiana Sciancalepore -You have GOT to be kidding me. Chainsaws? Seriously? Two of them! SIMULTANEOUSLY!? can't wait to get the heck out of here.
Tatiana Sciancalepore -Evie slept through 2 chainsaws, 1 leaf-blower, 3 honking cars, and 1 street sweeper. I go to check the laundry, my stupid dog barks, Evie screams. nap-time cut in HALF. sigh =0(

Hi, my name is Tatiana, I'm 9 months pregnant and I've been a total Debbie Downer these past 3 weeks.

Which brings me to my second ~~excuse~~ reason:

2.) There's enough negativity in this world without my adding to it. So when I don't have enough rainbows and sunshine to pass around, I tend to clam up. Why should you have to sit there and hear me complain about my complete lack of energy (as in ZERO) and my giant to-do list?

Don't get me wrong. I'm not in a bad mood, just overwhelmed. I want to wake up and attack my day. I want to play, bake, read, and dance with my little girl. I want to write. I want to do so much, but I just can't. I'm pooped.

When I was pregnant with Evie I always wondered why the heck there were so many women wishing they were done with their pregnancy. I loved just about every minute. I totally get it now, and I sympathize. Being 9 months pregnant while shopping for baby clothes, reading baby books, and rubbing your belly is VERY different from being 9 months pregnant while chasing a two-year old, lifting her (all 30 lbs. of her) in and out of a car seat, high-chair, and crib, packing up your apartment for moving day (woohoo!), battling with your allergies, and being constantly knocked over by the stabbing pain in your belly (scar tissue they say...psh). It's exhausting. And the worst part? That little voice in your head that says "you suck." Oddly enough, my little voice just happens to sound like my little girl. Poor thing has been getting the short end of the stick for weeks.

Anywho, only a few more weeks to go .

And to prove to you that I'm not a total drag, here's a little "woohoo" for all our upcoming big events:

WOOHOOOO!!

I really am super excited to meet this little boy. Who, by the way, is scheduled to grace us with his presence on Sunday May 22nd, so long as his giant butt stays in there that long. I'm excited to see his little face, sniff his little head, and watch him turn my little girl into a big sister. I'm super excited for cuddling, breastfeeding (yes, I said that), folding teeny tiny clothes...all of it. Bring. It. ON!

I'm also super-freaking excited for moving day! Scheduled to take place next weekend if all goes as planned. I'm excited that we'll be able to spread ourselves out a little more, play in a yard (with grass!), go for walks, sleep without sirens and horn honking, walk into town for the farmer's market, drop by a friend's house without it taking 25 + minutes in traffic, go to the supermarket 4 minutes away, park in front of the house and walk straight in without tackling 20+ steps first. Man am I excited!

So you see, things are good. I'm just so, so tired.

Again, so sorry to have left you hanging. I know this blog should be jam-packed with fun pregnancy posts and pictures, but I just haven't had the energy. Maybe tomorrow? Here's hoping.

xoxo

p.s. Wanna help? Advice welcomed on the following: Best double stroller that isn't going to break the bank and how to transition Evie into a big girl room, in a new house, on a second floor, with big girl furniture (oy!). Help!

Hi, remember me?

2011-04-19T16:48:00.002-04:00

I know, in the past 3 weeks, I haven't said a word to any of you. I have not been blogging, reading blogs, or commenting on blogs. As a matter of fact, I've hardly spent any time online at all.

What the heck have I been doing you ask? Ha!

Expanding, for one thing...

This is me at 34 weeks. Technically, I still have 6 weeks to go, but last week this kid measured a week and a half bigger than he should be.

5 lbs 7oz!

Other than that though, I've been busy introducing my toddler to the world of DVD's because Lord knows that come 4:30 I am totally out of juice.

So far, she loves Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast...

however, Sleeping Beauty...not so much.

Then of course there's been house stuff like packing and picking out paint and granite. Talk about a headache.

(A headache I'm very grateful for though)

Then throw in a little anxiety about not being able to actually help with the new-house repairs, not being able to sit OR stand for more than 10 minutes, and having absolutely zero energy for food shopping, let alone actual cooking, and you have a pretty good picture of what life's been like around here. Not bad, just hectic and slow-moving all at the same time.

Oh yeah, did I mention my many failed attempts at potty training?

Yeah, tack that onto the list too.

I'm not complaining though, really. Just explaining my past (and most likely, future) absence. Besides, who could complain with this comedian around all the time:

Virtual Coffee

2011-03-29T08:54:00.001-04:00

It's Tuesday. Right? I can't be sure these days. Anyway, I saw Amy put up her Virtual Coffee, so it must be Tuesday.

If you came over for coffee today you might decide to turn right around and head back home--I would not be much fun. It's been a rough couple of days. We started potty training, and as far as the actually potty chair goes, Evie loves it. What she doesn't' love is actually peeing. Turns out she has a little vaginal infection. Not. Fun.

At first we thought maybe she was just nervous about going because she was finally aware of what was going on. But no, as the day continued the nervousness turned into fear and pain (for all of us). Poor thing screamed every time she felt the urge to go, which was every 10 minutes considering she'd been holding it in all day. The doctor's suggestion? Warm sitz baths with 1/2 cup of vinegar. So far we've done three--two last night and one this morning, but I'm not sure it's doing anything. And so, the screaming and crying continues. Combine that with not enough sleep, a ton of chores, and the general discomfort of being almost 8 months pregnant, and that makes for a horrible, horrible day. Thank God Jimmy was off yesterday, or I may have had a meltdown myself (ok, another meltdown).

Today, however, I'm on my own. Wish me luck. Hope you're all well and having an easier day than we are.

When one door closes...

2011-03-27T19:33:00.005-04:00

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us."

~ Helen Keller

For the past few months, I've been staring at a closed door--willing it to break free of it's frame and let me out of my box. I've asked it nicely, I've come at it with a sledge hammer, I've given it the silent treatment and pretended not to care. But never once did I look away for more than a few moments.

Last week, on one of those gloriously rare days where Evie slept in (as in she got up at 7:30am instead of 7am), I slipped into the shower and said a prayer. To be honest, that wasn't even my intention. I wish it was. I was actually just standing there enjoying the peace and quiet, when one thought led to another and I remembered something someone had told me in bible study weeks before. She said "fight for what you want, there's nothing wrong with that. Just remember to ask God to firmly close any doors that are meant to be closed, and point you in the direction of another one."

It seems I had forgotten that last part.

Just after Christmas, we found out that we would not be able to purchase our own home any time soon. That did not sit well with me. I looked at the problem from all angles, I sought out advice, I researched, I gave up and tried to accept it, I failed, I moped around, I attacked the problem again, I sought out more advice, and around and around we went. It wasn't until last week, during those few precious moments in the shower, that I saw a faint glimmer of light peeking out from beneath another door. I didn't even know my little box had another door, so imagine my surprise. But nevertheless, there it was. And after cautiously tip-toeing over to it, so as to not scare it off of course, I nudged at it gently and wouldn't you know it, that sucker blew open.

Sometime within the next month, my little family and I will be moving into a house. A nice house in a better neighborhood. A house with 3 bedrooms, 2 1/2 baths, a large family room, and...are you ready...a yard! A house that I know to be safe, near my dearest friends, and only a few blocks from where I went to school and got married.

My house. No, really, my childhood home. We're moving back.

See, my mom has wanted to sell her house for quite some time now, but unfortunately the market is not at all where it needs to be in order for that to happen. She doesn't need 3 bedrooms or 2 1/2 baths. I, on the other hand, do...desperately! I need the extra space, the change of environment, the better schools, the tree-lined sidewalks, the supermarket that's only 2 min. away, the quiet street where no one honks their car horn for 2 minutes straight as someone is currently doing RIGHT NOW!

So, because I am the daughter of the most giving woman on the face of the Earth, we're pulling a little switcheroo and trading places for a while. We'll be holding on to my mom's house until the market improves and our credit clears, and she'll move into our little apartment that is coincidentally only 10 minutes from her new job. A simple solution to a very complex problem. And to think, all I had to do was stop, pray, and ask for directions.

Lesson learned.

p.s. Thank you mommy =0)

Not ready for this...at all.

2011-03-21T08:35:00.001-04:00

Know what this is?

The beginnings of a heart attack.

It seems I have a two-year-old this spring.

A two-year-old who thinks she's invincible.

A two-year-old that wants to climb up to the big slide...

All.

By.

Herself!

Do you see how tall that slide is?!?

I wasn't prepared for that when I took her to the park for the first time the other day.

But nevertheless, slide she did... all by herself.

My big...

big...

Girl.

Happy Spring, folks!

The weather may be crumby at the moment, but you know what they say...April showers and what not.

Nearly 7 1/2 months...

2011-03-17T15:07:00.000-04:00

Not too bad...

and then...

BAM!

My 3-pounder.

Virtual Coffee (a day late)

2011-03-16T09:31:00.001-04:00

If you came over for coffee today, you'd have to excuse a few things. Namely, the big pile of laundry, the dirty dishes in the sink, and the fact that I haven't showered yet (working on it...I swear). But there is one thing to look forward to...the blueberry muffins in the oven. Perhaps you'd like tea with your muffin? I haven't decided yet.

So what's new with you? I for one am pooped--too much partying I think. But really, too much of everything.

We're in the home stretch with little Logan over here (10 weeks to go) and there's still so much to do. Walls need to be put up and painted, doors need to be sealed off and re-opened, carpets need to be put in, a big-girl bed needs to be ordered, and, oh yeah, I'm supposed to "take it easy." Let me tell you now...I am not good at that. I don't take anything easy, never have. I think I get it from my mom. She was always knocking down walls and re-arranging furniture on the spur of the moment. Thanks mom. Honestly though, I know it'll all get done. It's mostly just the anxiety of not being able to start any of it myself that's starting to get to me.

On the brighter side of things...only two more months to go! I'm excited. Like super freaking excited. Of course, there's a to-do list with Logan as well, but I can handle most of it. He'll be using Evie's old room and baby furniture, so I just need a few things: bedding, some more clothes, a double stroller, a few swaddle blankets, and my stash of newborn diapers, and I'm pretty much set. Now if only Evie would pee on the potty and stop screaming like a banshee (yea, that seems to be her new thing..Logan will looove that).

So that's it, really. Pregnancy-wise I'm doing ok. My back kind of kills and I can't breathe sitting down, but that's just how it goes I guess. Luckily, we're all healthy and kickin' so I certainly can't complain. And I know, I owe you a 7-month picture. I promise I'll get to it today (maybe tomorrow hehe).

Well, the muffins are calling. Thanks for hanging out ;) And don't forget to visit our Virtual Coffee hostess Amy, over at Lucky Number 13

And party, and party, and party...

2011-03-15T13:59:00.000-04:00

There was no birth "day" for Evie, but rather a birth-weekend. Ohh the parties and the cake! It's no wonder she isn't yet off her sugar high.

Thursday night was a little cake-cutting shindig at our place, complete with ice cream cake, balloons and presents. Friday some friends came over to help decorate cupcakes for Saturday and they too brought presents. Saturday was the real deal; pizza party, cake, cupcakes, games, presents, balloons, you name it. Sunday--my grandmother's birthday...MORE CAKE! So please excuse me for not having posted this sooner, but I've had my hands full with a ridiculously excited 2 year old.

I have to say though, it was all worth it. My girl had FUN. Not just a little "oh how nice...a party" fun. No. More like "Holy S*%# ! This is awesome! Cake, cake, cake! Presents, presents, presents! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!" sort of fun.

And I have to say...I totally agree.

Thank you to everyone who wished my little girl a Happy Birthday!

As Evie would say:

"huuuuuuuuuuuugs!"

Two Years Ago Today...

2011-03-10T08:40:00.000-05:00

Where on Earth has the time gone?

Happy Birthday Munchkin!

We love you more than words can say.

To Do...

2011-03-09T08:55:00.000-05:00

1. Find camera!!
2. Apologize to blog readers for being m.i.a. ....sorry folks.
3. Get party supplies for Saturday (tablecloths, plates, napkins, chips, soda, candy)
4. Suck in every last second of the very last day that Evie is 1
5. Buy ingredients for Evie's cake (flour, eggs, butter, sugar, sprinkles, tub of icing just in case)
6. Attempt to make a homemade funfetti cake (fingers crossed)
7. Finish pinwheels for Saturday
8. Assemble goodie bags
9. Fold and put away our ever-growing mountain range of laundry
10. Find birthday outfit for Evie
11. Order balloons
12. Figure out crafts and games for kids aged 2-5
13. Quick-clean the house (as in floors, dishes, & bed sheets) and hope no one inspects my tub, dusty furniture, or messy closets and drawers
14. Call in food order for Saturday
15. Get music together for Saturday
16. Attempt to get all this done while remembering to be patient and calm. After all, what good is a party if it puts mommy in a bad mood.

And lastly...

Get on my knees and somehow find the words to give thanks for 2 years with this girl:

It's the little things...

2011-03-07T08:24:00.000-05:00

What do you get when you give a two year old (almost!) a Blow Pop?

A very happy little girl who suddenly remembers all her manners:

"May I have it please?"

"How about Evie's turn?"

"Thank you much"

Virtual Coffee

2011-02-22T14:20:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since I last caught up with Amy for Virtual Coffee, and honestly, I don't have much for you today. I mean, I do. I have lots to say and lots of ideas in my head, but I just don't have the energy. As I type this, I'm anxiously watching my video monitor hoping Evie will fall asleep so that I can take a nap. It's been 40 minutes. She's not sleeping.

Anyway, if we were really meeting up for coffee today I would probably start complaining about how tired and uncomfortable I am. But since I don't want to complain, and I really do think that a few positive thoughts will help turn things around, I'll skip that subject all together.

So Miss Evie...she's going to be two soon. And while she's actually better behaved now than she was 5 months ago, I have a feeling that the "terrible twos" are going to attack us in the form of attitude. She's pretty obedient this little girl, about as obedient as a two year old can get really. But you know what? What an attitude. For the most part she's all smiles and giggles and silly faces, but when she says "no," she means it. And it's not just "no'' any more either, it's become "nope," "nah," "I don't want it" and "NO!" (slams hand on nearest object). If only that was the worst of it. Unfortunately, it seems I gave birth to a little girl who is half child and half parrot. We can't watch anything with any sort of questionable language whatsoever. And the occasional "crap" that you tend to blurt out now and then? She picks it up in a second. Oh boy....that's all I have to say.

She's still pretty cute though:

Perhaps I should start writing myself a reminder letter for when Logan is Evie's age. But then again, that would be a very long letter.

Anyway, while we're on the subject of Evie, I have two big obstacles to tackle in the upcoming months: potty training and big-girl-bed sleeping. Hopefully I can get them both sorted out before Mr. Logan gets here. And while the potty training would be nice, the big-bed sleeping is essential because Logan's getting her crib. Any advice, words of wisdom, warnings?

Wish me luck.

So really that's it. A lot of baby stuff on my mind, but most of it exciting. How's everything over on your end?

p.s. We're now going on 2 diaper changes (I swear she's doing it on purpose), and an hour and ten minutes later... still not sleeping. It's going to be a long afternoon.

Your New Baby: A Letter

2011-02-18T14:14:00.000-05:00

Dear Tatiana,

In 3 short months you will be welcoming a second baby into your already beautiful family. You will marvel at his little fingers and toes and wonder why you shouldn't have three more. You will hush, sing softly, and try to rock anything you hold to sleep (the dog included). You will be excited for every new diaper change so that you can see how adorable the teeny tiny cloth looks against his skin. You will cling to that new baby smell for dear life and cherish every new facial expression. You will be itching to take him on his first walk and later a trip to the park with his big sister.

But let's face it, you have a few ocd tendencies and you will be hormonal. So you will try to schedule things out in your head, organize and perfect your immediate surroundings, plan ahead and maintain a calm a peaceful frame of mind.

You. will. FAIL!

That's right.

You will be happy and sad, awestruck and annoyed, over-whelmed by your infinite blessings and over-whelmed by infinite loads of laundry. You will wonder why the hell you chose to use those friggin cloth diapers anyway (something about not destroying our environment, right? psh). You will wonder how something so small can be so smelly and loud. You will curse your town for it's bumpy sidewalks, loud fire trucks, and inadequate playgrounds. You will wonder if you've completely screwed your precious little girl by forcing her to share her mommy. You will think your husband is the sweetest, most loving, most understanding liar you've ever met. You'll think he's only pretending to understand. You'll think your wonderfully supportive family is secretly judging your every move. You will snap at them and then get upset about it and then snap some more. You will laugh and then immediately cry.

You will live.

I'm writing you this letter not to scare the living hell out of you, but to remind you that you will be ok. Contrary to what you might think, babies are not babies forever. In a month you'll feel better, in two months you'll feel really good, and in three months you'll be back to normal. Eventually, he will sleep more and eat less (eventually, I said). He will smile at you and laugh at plastic bags. He will sit up, crawl, and walk before you know it, so enjoy every second. In the blink of any eye HE'LL be counting YOUR fingers and you'll wonder where the hell the time went.

But until then:
~ Sniff him from head to toe, he smells delicious.
~ Drool over him in every adorable outfit and take lots of pictures.
~ Hold him all day if you want to, he won't get spoiled.
~ Let other people hold him...I promise they're not trying to take your place.
~ Let your husband do the laundry and take out the dog. But if he doesn't, you'll all survive.
~ Order food, let other people bring you food, and eat whenever you want. You don't need to be June Cleaver right now. Don't cook too much and just buy the damn bread.
~ If someone else is home, take your shower. Nothing in the world will feel quite so good.
~ Sit back and watch your little girl become a big sister. Show her how to "help" and love.
~ Smile at your parents and in-laws when they try to take him (even if it comes out looking like a grimace...try)
~ Hug and kiss your husband. He's not lying, he does understand, and he loves you more than anyone else.
~ Grab some yogurt or cookies and enjoy those quiet 3am feedings. It'll have been a while since you caught up on your Fresh Prince anyway.
~ Go out--out with your husband, out with your mom, out with your friends...whatever. Just get out. It's worth the 2 hours of getting ready.
~ Enjoy staying in.
~ And thank God every day; even the crappy ones are wonderful.

Anyway, you get the idea. Just remember, your little girl is a smart, happy, healthy, amazing kid who LOVES her mommy very much. You must have done something right. You can do it again.

Sincerely,
me

Happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T14:15:00.000-05:00

Without my Valentine...

...I would laugh less.

....I would sigh more.

... I would be less patient and more anxious (if that's even possible).

...I probably wouldn't have gone back to school.

....I may never have graduated college.

...I would not have my beautiful children.

...I would not know how to cook a damned thing.

...I would not have anyone to split an entire pizza pie with.

...I would probably be a little thinner, but definitely a lot lonelier.

...I would not appreciate a good Schwarzenegger movie (ok, maybe I still don't).

...I would not have anyone to beat in air hockey.

...I would be overly stressed, and under-hugged.

Without my Valentine I would be

completely

and

utterly

incomplete.

Happy Valentine's Day to the greatest husband, dad, and best friend I've ever known.

6 months, 1 week and counting...

2011-02-11T21:23:00.000-05:00

Oh my!

Happy Friday everyone!

An update

2011-02-09T08:47:00.000-05:00

Hi there. Just a quick update today.

We've been busy, sick, and honestly, kind of lazy (at least I have).

Last week was interesting to say the least. Sunday night I slept a total of 2 1/2 hours because of horrible stomach cramps, only to get up the next day and blackout (for like 2 seconds) while taking out the dog. Not fun. Not to worry though, Logan and I are doing great. Apparently the lack of sleep plus the added weight of a baby pressing against my main artery caused the power outage.

That craziness was then followed by a few days where Evie would not and could not eat a thing. Everything came back up for a visit. Now, days later, we're left with a child who remembers that we basically let her eat crackers, cereal, bread and bananas for 3 days and now refuses to eat anything else.

On a happier note...we have a birthday coming up! Next month, Evie turns two!

I know it's so cliche to say it, but I honestly cannot believe she's going to be TWO. When did that happen? Anyway, we're in the midst of planning a small Mickey party for her at the local pizzeria. And while I tend to dislike cheesy character parties, the girl loves her some Mickey, so what the hell. It's not my birthday, right?

I'm going to look at it as a challenge : How to do Mickey Mouse...Etsy style

Here's what I'm thinking

{BlueMoonStudios}

{Brendaswhite}

I think it'll turn out nicely.

How have you been?

Pause. Please?

2011-01-27T11:57:00.001-05:00

What do you do when this is over?

When the pig-tails, soft, baby blues, and chubby, ivory cheeks turn into perfectly flat-ironed tresses, hot pink tank tops, and blushed cheek bones?

When sunglasses and boots aren't just for fun anymore...

and cupcake hats and pjs are just "not cool, mom!"

What happens when you don't want to watch Winnie the Pooh with your friends and mommy anymore?

What happens then?!?

I don't want to know.

I want to stay here, in the land of "huuugs, mommy!" and bedtime giggles.

Yeah, I know, it's right next to dirty-diaper-land and "No! I don't want it!" town, but I'll take it.

Just let the rest never end.

Virtual Coffee

2011-01-25T10:16:00.000-05:00

Good morning! Time for our weekly coffee date with Amy. And today I'm actually having my coffee as I type this, yay! I rarely get to do that.

So if we were indeed having coffee together this morning (and oh how I wish we were), you would notice that it's snowing again. In fact, it has snowed about once a week since Christmas. Personally, I don't usually mind but if it keeps up like this, the next 30 days or so are going to be very difficult.

See, for the next month my husband will be working the night shift, as in 12 midnight - 8am. Ick. Being the night owl that he is, he sort of likes it. And really it does have it's plus sides. He's home to have breakfast with us in the morning and then up again around 4ish, giving us another 6 hours together. But there's one problem. Remember what my apartment looks like?

See that bed over there? Yeah, that's our bed. And the couches and tv in front of it? That's our living room. And you see all those toys in the corner, the loud piano in particular? Evie's toys. The combination of all three makes for a very difficult day of trying to keep a toddler relatively quiet while my husband sleeps. So when it snows, and we can't get out of the house, things get a little tricky.

We try to hang out in the kitchen as much as possible, but it's the coldest room in the house so we generally end up baking something to pass the time and warm ourselves up. Actually, brownies sound pretty good right now, so maybe we'll do that after her nap.

How about you, what do you guys generally turn towards when snowed in?

On the pregnancy front, I'm a little over 22 weeks now --more than half way through! I can't believe it. It really has gone by soo quickly. And while I truly enjoy being pregnant, part of me wants it to go even faster so that I can meet the little guy already. I know it's probably the baby amnesia talking, and that the reality is that things will only get harder once he gets here, but I really can't wait. Most of the nervousness has died down now thanks in part to this new comfort zone I've entered, but I don't know how long that will last. Hopefully forever, but once the hormones really kick in in May it's anyone's guess. I am not good with fluctuating hormones. Really. Not. Good.

Anyway, that's it for now. There's a little girl waiting for me to change Mickey's diaper, so I'm off.

Happy Tuesday everyone!

p.s. Sorry about the lack of pictures, but I haven't uploaded any new ones in a few days and the camera is just too far away to bother with now ;)

What I was and what I am

2011-01-21T12:06:00.002-05:00

There's something to be said about someone who's comfortable in their own skin; at ease with their ways and choices. I've longed to be that person my whole life. To be someone who really "knew" themselves; someone who could say "I am... (fill in the blank)." But instead, I've always been the person that says "I want to be..." or "I used to be...." Never truly being comfortable in the moment, and always comparing, analyzing, and dissecting all the little bits that make me, me.

Growing up, I would take every one's dreams and beliefs and try to make them my own. I can still remember the disappointment I felt when I realized I didn't want to be a cheerleader, a basketball player (ha!) a talk show host, a communications major, etc.. I tried on the uniforms, but they never quite fit. Not like they were "supposed" to anyway. Not like they fit other people. But I kept sucking it in and wiggling around trying to make them fit. To get every ounce of myself into them because everyone said I could and should. I envied those who put on their outfit every day and thought "yup, I look good in this. This is me." Maybe no one did that, I don't know. But it sure felt like they did. Like the friends that said they were going to be something some day, and then they were. But maybe that's just who I am; someone who likes to try on different outfits. To be daring and spontaneous one minute, and jump back into my routine the next.

At almost 27, I'm just starting to feel comfortable, no, happy with who I am. I'm ok with not being in the spotlight. I don't think I ever truly wanted to be there anyway. I can remember going to auditions when I was younger (you know, like 8 years ago) and hearing everyone talk about national tours and summer festivals in god-knows-where, and thinking "do these people ever want to get married and have kids? How do you do that on a national tour? Maybe I can take jobs at night..." My mind always went there. To the husband and the kids I didn't have, never met, and wouldn't meet for many years to come.

Now I know why.

It took me a while to get here, but now that I am, I'm glad I came. This is who I am. I like to sit quietly and think, bake, read, snuggle with babies and my husband. But I also like to laugh loudly, explore new places, try new things. I like being able to walk around in my sweatpants and slippers one day and then throw on a sexy dress and strappy heels the next. Better yet, swap out the "sexy" dress for a "cute" dress and retro-y heels.

There I am.

I like my aprons and tea cups but I still love my shoes and bags. I like the places my books take me to, but sometimes good (loud) music can lead me somewhere better...different.

I like many things. I LOVE many things. I can even DO many things. But I don't have to be everything. And that is good to know.

As for Evie, she's libel to try on many outfits in her life. She may even try on mine. I just hope and pray that in the end she realizes hers, and hers alone, will always fit best.

Even if doesn't seem that way yet.

Virtual Coffee

2011-01-18T16:13:00.004-05:00

Hi, it's Tuesday! Care to join me (and Amy) for some coffee?

Sadly, I've already had my cup for the day and I'm not allowed to have another because of this "little" guy, so I'll mostly be watching you enjoy yours.

But that's ok, because when I did have my coffee this morning, it was next to this:

Gerbera Daisies...my fave!

So if we were really having coffee today, I'd invite you over to my place so that you could give me your opinion. You see, after accepting the fact that I'm going to be ~~stuck~~ living here for at least another year and a half, I decided I'm going to make the best of it and just spruce things up a bit. Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of money for sprucing, so I started with the easy stuff, like buying flowers and re-arranging stuff I already have.

I don't dislike my apartment. It's fairly cute. It's just kind of plain. So if you came over for coffee, I'd walk you through the renovation plans (which include putting up walls and making new doors so that Evie can have a "big girl" room). Then I'd tell you (in order to convince myself), that these new changes will really improve the coziness of the place--something I long for. Because while I do really love my kitchen and all of it's quirkiness, the rest of the place could use some work.

The glass bottles and the cover to my grandma's cookbook (made by cousin Geninne many years ago) are my favorite.

What I'm not too crazy about is my dining room and it's blandness...

Those walls desperately need some shelves, picture frames, and paintings. And the floor could really use a nice area rug (not possible with my dog).

Although it's not quite so bad when you look at it from this angle.

It's just the ridiculously high ceilings and desperately plain walls that bug me the most.

But let's keep moving shall we?

In my living room, I love my bookshelf.

That is all.

Just kidding. Sort of.

I just really love my books and their pretty spines and covers, and I love my birdies (again from my cousin Geninne). Other than that though, and perhaps a few pretty picture frames here and there, there's just not that much more to it.

Anyway, like I said, the renovations should really help. That and, I've kind of been hoarding away my Christmas money (I know! I still get Christmas money..woohoo) so that I can buy pretty things as I see them.

Which brings us to our next topic of conversation. Shopping. I desperately want to go shopping (my nesting tendency is pretty strong when I'm pregnant). There's a problem though. I hate big box stores like Walmart (no offense to anyone who likes them), and I can't afford (and don't really want to, anyway) the pretty stores like Pottery Barn and Crate and Barrel. That, and my eco-friendly/hand-made/vintage obsession leaves me kind of at a loss. Oh how I wish I lived by a cute town with thrift stores, antique shops and quirky mom and pop shops. Until then, or at least until it gets warmer and I can drive to south Jersey or upstate NY, I'll have to settle for Etsy and Anthropologie. Although, that's not really "settling" is it? If you have other suggestions, please, send them my way.

In the grand scheme of things though, it doesn't really matter how cozy or not my apartment looks. As long as I have these two crazies to fill it with, I'm happy.

Although, I may really need that second cup of coffee now and again.

p.s. Blogger is being all weird with the spacing again...sorry.

In case you were wondering...

2011-01-17T16:04:00.000-05:00

this is what 5 months (and one week) look like...

the SECOND time around.

~*~

Just a taaaaad bigger than the last time...

Just a tad.

Snow day!

2011-01-13T13:34:00.000-05:00

Snow days are exciting...

and completely exhausting...

but totally worth it!

Hope yours was just as fun!

xoxo

Virtual Coffee- a day late

2011-01-12T10:16:00.002-05:00

I know, it's Wednesday, but yesterday was rough. Luckily, today is a snow day for us in Jersey, so the hubby is home and we're all enjoying some nice quiet time. And you know what that means...coffee.

So if we were really having coffee together, I'd tell you quite a few things:

The first being that yesterday was an "I suck at being a mommy day." The problem is, I'm not really sure why. We had a great morning, a lot got done and Evie behaved nicely. So I'm going to blame it on the hormones. Honestly though, I was a bit of a train wreck (a very weepy train). I kept thinking "I don't play with her enough. I'm boring. She's not going to like me. How the heck am I supposed to handle another one?" blah blah blah. Hormones suck, but I can't blame them entirely...I do constantly think these things.

Which leads me to a question...how much do you play with your kids on a daily basis? All day? Not at all? A few times here and there? At our house, we generally wake up to snuggle and watch cartoons, then eat breakfast together and then I start my chores while she plays around me. At some point she gets tired of playing by herself and I'll take a break to sit and color or what have you, but then 20 min. later we start the cycle over again with me doing something around the house and Evie playing nearby or following me around. I guess that's normal, but I just can't shake the guilt. I feel like I should be engaging her more or teaching her something. ::sigh:: Being a mom is hard. If only we could get rid of the guilt.

Anyway, moving on.

Another thing that might come up over coffee is what we've been up to these past few weeks. Well, let me sum it up quickly (and as painlessly as possible...for me). We went house hunting. We fell in LOVE with a house, a whole new life really. We tried to get approved for a mortgage to make an offer on the house. We were denied.

Now, this was a friend of ours who looked into our finances, so it's not like we were just "denied." He really tried his hardest. Problem is, while we have the money, we don't have the credit. We have to wait about 1 1/2 to 2 years before we can reapply with our credit the way it is.

Needless to say, I was sad and frustrated. But I was brought up to believe that everything happens for a reason, and so far, my life has confirmed that over and over again. So, I'm trying really hard to make the best of things and just be patient. Two years isn't that long, right? We'll just have to put some walls and rearrange some furniture...no big. Right? Right.

In the meantime, I'll have my hands full with a beautiful baby boy and slightly crazy toddler. And I have to admit, as scary as that is, it's also super exciting. I can't wait until May!

Since this is supposed to be a coffee date...how have you been? And please...answer my question so that I don't feel like quite such a huge failure. Damn hormones.

xoxo

The post with all the pictures

2011-01-09T21:13:00.001-05:00

My, oh, my. What a month it has been. Over the past month, this pregnant mama has flown high on dreams, swooped low with reality, and leveled out here and there with faith and hard work. It has been quite a roller-coaster. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to share much of it with you as there was an unfortunate coffee incident with the laptop. Luckily, the wonderful folks over at Apple were able to fix it for me...for free!!
{cue gigantic sigh of relief}

I'll eventually get around to telling you about all the fun, stress, love, and craziness, but for now here is a recap of our Christmas. I'll keep it short (on words) as I'm sure we are all pretty much holiday-ed out.

{trouble}

{making cookies...}

{after having waited very patiently for them to bake}

{daddy and his Christmas elf}

{learnin' the ropes}

{admiring her handy work}

{discovering the joy of markers...to mom's dismay}

{gingerbread house!}

{the sweetest picture I've ever seen!}

{the result of too many Christmas cookies}

{daddy's Christmas cookies. Anyone else see Carter from South Park? I HATE that show}

{Update: My husband has informed me that it's "Cartman" not Carter lol....I told you I hate that show}

{mommy's Christmas cookies...thank you very much}

{Christmas day...sorry Max}

{Evie's BIG gift}

{and her favorite as it turns out}

{matching aprons for the cooks}

{Evie's other big gift. Daddy particularly loves this at 8am on Saturdays}

{Evie sick of all the cackling}

{Evie and her Abu}

{the day after Christmas...lots of toys...}

{and SNOW!}

{even Max was impressed}

{Oh yeah, and more cookies}

I hope everyone had a wonderful, blessed, fun, happy, cozy, memorable Christmas.

We did.

Now...back to our regularly scheduled program of random and often scattered posts. It's nice to be back. =0)

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-23T20:39:00.000-05:00

A certain little elf spilled coffee on my lap top this week, so I'm afraid there won't be much Christmas blogging until I get it fixed. But I wanted to stop and say Merry Christmas to all of you! I hope it's cozy, fun, and blessed!

Love
Tatiana, Jimmy, Evie, and the peanut.

Drum roll please...

2010-12-17T13:27:00.000-05:00

At 16 weeks and 5 days, something is very apparent...

we're having a boy!

(clearly haha)

Lending a helping hand

2010-12-15T10:48:00.000-05:00

Hi there,

Today I'm doing a guest post for a wonderful company--Barley and Birch. Come visit me here to read about the Highs and Lows of being a mom (and to see a few pics of this pretty adorable kid I know).

See you there!

More than we could ever deserve

2010-12-09T18:59:00.000-05:00

I've said it before, and I'll say it again...I am blessed. No, like REALLY blessed. And while a part of me wants to think that one day it'll all come crashing down and bitch slap me in the face, there's a bigger part of me that says "Shut it! And have some faith!"

So I'm shutting it. And faith I shall have. Wanna know why? Because...

THE HUBBY GOT A NEW JOB!!!

(sorry, but that deserves to be centered in caps)

A few weeks ago, Jimmy was offered a new job. A new job that he's been waiting for (yearning for, really. That is, if men "yearn"). A job that came with a significant pay increase and better (much needed) benefits (goodbye ridiculous $2500 deductible...you can kiss it). A job that will hopefully have us in a HOUSE by this summer! A job that may very well make this possible. A job that Jimmy can commute to and leave me the car! And most importantly, a job that makes him-- Jimmy, "Network Engineer"--a title he worked very hard to get and deserves more than anyone I know.

When we got the good news (at 9 o'clock at night), we baked cookies to celebrate and did a little happy dance. I'm not even kidding...we danced...like idiots...in our kitchen. The music? A little impromptu song that goes a little something like this "hehehe you got a new job, hehehe, you got a new job." We looked like such losers, but we just couldn't believe it. The job came out of nowhere, and just in the nick of time.

I'm not sure we deserve it all. This life, the soon-to-be kids (with an "s" folks), the family and friends, the great marriage, the laughter, the joy, the happy dances in the kitchen, and now this job, they all seem undeserved. But I'll be damned if I don't try my hardest to one day actually deserve it. Until then, I'll just say "thanks" and have faith that it isn't going to blow up in my face.

Remember when I wished I had God's email? It's probably a good thing that I don't. Not sure if he would want his inbox flooded with thank you spam. I'd probably get blocked.

Ok, I'm done. If that was too much happy for you, stay tuned. I'm sure I'll be back whining about napless days soon enough.

I feel like I should donate half the things I own just to balance things. Who wants a stainless steel wok that I never use?

Sometimes it's hard to believe

2010-12-06T11:45:00.000-05:00

Someone is getting soo big,

and fun,

and sweet;

I can hardly believe she's mine.

It's going to be a very Merry Christmas indeed.

::sigh::

2010-12-02T13:40:00.001-05:00

Ok. Who wants to tell me what the heck is going on here?

Why isn't this child sleeping?

We're going on week two of difficult naps and it isn't getting any better. For some reason, Miss Evie has been napping only every other day. And today is supposed to be THAT day. Yesterday was a 2 hour fight trying to get her to sleep...a fight which she won. She didn't nap. That is until she fell asleep on my bed at 4:15!

She then woke up at 5:30 and screamed at me for 40 minutes.

Not. Even. Kidding.

So today is supposed to be a nap day! She's only 20 months old...she's been up for 7 hours...someone please tell her she's tired! I mean, is it too early? She used to wake up at 7 and be out for the count by 11:30. That was only three weeks ago. I've pushed it back to 1:30 and nothing...

No naps.

Tired Mommy.

Help!

Virtual Coffee

2010-11-30T14:03:00.001-05:00

If we were really meeting for coffee today, I would start by asking "so, what's up with you," because I'm in more of a listening mood than a talking mood. Nothing is wrong. I just need a nap.

Honestly, I can't complain, we've had a pretty good and productive day thus far (to make up for yesterday's disaster, I think). Today, Evie woke up in a good mood so we made pancakes, baked bread, soaked chick peas, colored, threw in a load of diapers and watched Mickey Mouse. Evie even took a nap (which yesterday, she did not). So, all in all, good day.

Yesterday though...yesterday was tough. No naps and lots of crankiness (for both of us). We each lost our patience one too many times, and no one was getting what they wanted. Tough. Day.

Oh well, onto bigger and better things.

Speaking of bigger--somebody had a growth spurt this past month and completely outgrew all her sweatpants--after I just spent $100 on new shirts. If the next one is a boy, I'm going to go bankrupt with all the clothes buying.

I think that's it for today. I have about 10 minutes left of nap time, and I think I'll try to squeeze in a few pages of Behemoth --I mean Bleak House.

Happy Tuesday!

A very Un-black Friday

2010-11-29T11:09:00.001-05:00

Every year, I'm tempted to scour the stores on black Friday weekend to see exactly how good of a deal I can get.

I never do.

This year, however, was no exception. Even though I swore I'd buy simpler, (some) handmade, and more thoughtful gifts this year, I still got on my computer Thursday night to make sure I wouldn't be missing out on anything.

I wasn't.

We don't need flat screen tvs, my husband and brother have more than enough video game systems, we don't need cameras or dvds, and I've completely sworn off plastic toys. So, what's left to buy at the malls or Walmarts of America? Nothing, really. At least not anything that I can't find on Etsy.

Which brings me to my point. Etsy!!! Where you can find unique, handmade, quality items for just about everyone. It's my new obsession and this year's go-to for Christmas gifts.

Here are just some of the amazing things you can find:

For the new baby

The cutest baby loafers

and mary janes

For your girlfriends:

A chic pillow cover

hand knitted bag

or vintage jewelry

For the guys

beer soap?

Men's fingerless gloves

Vintage Swiss Ration Bag

Camera hoodie

Toys, toys, toys!

crayon wallets

All natural building blocks

doll cradle

You get the picture. Etsy is full of wonderful gift ideas that not only provide quality, but peace of mind as well. I don't know about you, but I'm hesitant to buy the Toys R' Us stuff no matter how "natural" it claims to be, so Etsy and small, family-owned businesses it will be.

How about you, where are some of your favorite places to shop this holiday season?

Did you do the black Friday madness thing? If so, are you still alive?

Here are a few more favorites just for the hell of it:

Vivi Bambini for really awesome eco-friendly children's clothes:

and

Rosie Hippo, for some great eco-friendly toys

Virtual Coffee

2010-11-23T09:36:00.000-05:00

Goooood Morning! As promised, I'm back for Virtual Coffee with Amy.

If we were really having coffee together today, you'd have to come to my house because I still don't have a car. But that's ok, I make pretty good coffee.

If we were really having coffee, I'd tell you that I went to the doctor yesterday and munchkin number two is doing great! We passed all of our tests (disgusting glucose included) and we continue to get bigger every day. Yea, I said "we." Apparently, when you have your second kid your abdominal muscles totally abandon you and you start to look 5 months pregnant instead of 3 1/2. Traitors.

Anyway, at this point you would probably ask me why the heck I have Christmas music playing. To which I would very calmly respond..."BECAUSE I FRIGGIN LOVE CHRISTMAS!" Yup, I am one of those people who get a little holiday crazy. I started the Christmas music on Sunday (and I'm honestly surprised that I was able to hold out that long), I've been watching nonstop ABC Family and Hallmark Movie Channel holiday movies since they started airing like two weeks ago, and I can't wait to put my tree up on Friday.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Friday is great, but Wednesday and Thursday! Oh boy! Wednesday I get up nice and early, jump in my car, pick up some bagels and coffee, and take a nice long drive to my Godmother's house to help with the cooking and baking. I look forward to this day every year, and this year's no different because my wonderful mother has agreed to be on Evie-duty. Woohoo! Then there's Thursday--Thanksgiving. I could go on and on about the food, family, friends, and all around wonderfulness of the day, but I'll save that for later.

How about you? What are you looking forward to this holiday season? Do you have Christmas music on already too, or are you one of those people that want to kill people like me? (it's ok if you are haha).

How about books? Anyone like to read anything in particular this time of year? Personally, I'm trying to plow my way through the end of Bleak House (300 pages to go), so that I can pick up Little Women. I've never read it. Crazy, I know. I love the movie, but I've never actually picked up the book and it seems like the perfect winter read. Which brings me to another thing that I love about the holidays...reading on my couch, under my favorite blanket, with a cup of tea or hot chocolate, and my Christmas tree all lit up.

Wow, I don't know if I could be any cheesier if I tried. Actually, I know I can and I'm pretty sure I'll just get worse as the we get closer to Christmas, so kudos to anyone who's read this far and still plans on returning.

Hmm, this post is missing something? Oh yea, pictures. I've been really lazy about that lately, but I think I have a few you'd like. Who wants to see why my house looks like when I decide (as I often do) that I just don't care?

I'm warning you, these are scary.

Mind you, this mess was created in under an hour because I thought I'd let Evie "help" with dinner. Which was actually a lot of fun, but resulted in the craziness you saw above.

Not to worry though, an hour after dinner, it looked like this again:

Not, perfect by any means, but better.

Ok, this post has gotten long enough. How are you? It's been a while, I know. We have a lot of catching up to you.

Heather does it again!

2010-11-22T07:00:00.001-05:00

Hi, there! Remember me? My first trimester is over so I'm finally (almost) starting to feel like my old self again. Yay! Just in time for the holidays!

Speaking of just in time for the holidays...

Who remembers Heather?

If you don't, she's the owner of The Sewing Loft. Remember her awesome Toddler Backpack giveaway back in July? If not, you can read all about her (and her amazing creations) here.

I'm happy to report that The Sewing Loft has really taken off and now offers a variety of adorable handmade items for children. Her newest creation--Holiday Do It Yourself Appliques! What the heck is that, you ask? Well, see for yourself...

Heather was kind enough to send this not-so-crafty mom two personalized appliques to try out.

The instructions were simple enough. Peel off tape, stick to shirt, iron inside out for 8 seconds on medium heat. Done!

It seriously could not have been easier. I just picked out two shirts that needed a little extra TLC. See that little lip stick stain in the middle of Evie's shirt?

8 seconds later...

awesome!

In my opinion, this is one of the best ways to spruce up a growing toddler's wardrobe for the holidays. Not only was I able to get a little more wear-time out of these shirts, but I also saved money by not buying new holiday shirts that would only be worn a couple of times anyway.

Here are just a few of her other adorable designs:

To check out the rest of Heather's designs, visit her on her facebook page. Or if you're an Etsyholic like me, you can go directly there. You won't regret it (so long as you have a little bit of self control).

I'll be back tomorrow for Virtual Coffee.

I promise.

{The Sewing Loft generously provided me with two free appliques to try. I was not under any obligation to write a positive review of their products. All opinions expressed are my own. I was not paid to write this review.}

My first Halloween as a "crafty" mom

2010-11-02T10:24:00.000-04:00

Happy ~~November 2nd~~ Halloween everyone!

How was your weekend? Fun? Exciting? Sugar-induced crazy? Relaxing? I hope it was a little bit of everything.

Ours was nice. Ragamuffin parade on Saturday, followed by parading around the house in our costume on Sunday. No trick-or-treating you ask? Well, we tried, but apparently the "city" thing to do is go to the malls, so no one was home. No harm done, next year we'll just go to someone else's town and raid their candy. I don't do malls.

Anyway, the best part is really just seeing my little girl get excited about her costume; the costume her mommy "made" for her. See, the thing is, I'm not a big fan of pre-made costumes. I have nothing against going to the store and just buying what you want, but my experience has always been that Party City's vision of, say, a princess is not quite the same as mine.

As a kid I was very lucky. My grandma could knit and sew like a pro, so I always had wonderfully handmade costumes. When she passed away, my mom took over with her creativity. She can't sew to save her life, but she'll make you an alien out of a silver jumpsuit and some fabric paint. As for me, I'm more like the latter, too impatient to learn to knit and too clumsy to be trusted with a fast-moving needle. So what do we do? We order sweaters and leggings from the talented people on Etsy, and we buy a large t-shirt, pipe cleaners, some black felt and (you guessed it) fabric paint! And tada...

Lila Ladybug!

I'd say it's a pretty good resemblance, no?

Happy Halloween everyone!

{p.s. Stick around for another no-sew holiday project towards the end of the week}

{p.p.s. Is anyone else as ridiculously excited for the upcoming months of turkeys and Christmas music? I am!!}

Another step towards "big girl"

2010-10-27T21:27:00.001-04:00

So, we've entered this stage...

the "I will do it MYSELF" stage...

the results are not pretty.

{well maybe a little hehe}

In her defense she's actually quite good at it.

The scariest game I've ever played

2010-10-25T15:12:00.000-04:00

Oh new little baby, you make me want to "sleepeeze" (as Evie would say). I scarcely open my eyes in the morning before I need to close them again.

You also make me want to barf, and yet I never do (not sure if that's any better, though).Your sister never did that. What the hell?

But most importantly, you make me happy. Like bake a cake and lick the beaters happy.

Oh yeah, and nervous. You make me a tad nervous. Mostly because I have this new little game I play where I take the situation I'm in and I try to add a second little person to it. That's a scary game to play my friends, especially if you only play it during the more difficult moments. Like say, when you're trying to fold laundry and a little one is annoyed because she wants to play so she whines and throws herself on the floor. If at that moment you imagine adding a crying infant who just exploded in it's diaper and wants to be fed, you may end up having an anxiety attack just thinking about it.

I really must remind myself to only play that game in the easier moments. Like when a certain little girl entertains herself (with very little help from mommy) at Barnes and Nobles and is being super cute while doing it.

Perhaps THEN it's safe to imagine an extra (preferably sleeping) baby to a stroller nearby.

Perhaps.

Virtual Coffee

2010-10-13T20:19:00.000-04:00

Hi there. I'm late again, I know. My bad. Let's have coffee anyway, ok? And while you're at it head over to Amy's to link up with some other lovely folks.

If we were really having coffee today, I'd tell you that I'm excited for my doctor's appointment tomorrow. Only 2 months in, but there's nothing like the whooshing of a heartbeat (no matter how small) to start your day off right.

I'd then tell you that this weekend will be my first party-free weekend in almost a month...and boy am I looking forward to it. An engagement party, a wedding, a baptism, a confirmation, and two upcoming birthdays make for a very, very busy schedule. Luckily, they also make for some cute pictures...

{Daddy gettin' down with his girl}

{Evie...still in the lets-put-everything-in-my-mouth stage}

{first taste of cotton candy...}

{anndd....}

{...it's good!}

{And that's how we eat cake}

So yeah, busy month. And that apple picking we managed to slip in last Thursday? Totally awesome....

{My totally awesome brother who tore apart my car (like I'm talking ripped out seats and door panels) in search for my ring...no luck, but a much appreciated effort}

Speaking of my beautiful ring. I've decided to not dwell on it. Clearly, for whatever reason, I am not meant to have it right now. To dwell on it's loss, rather than appreciate all that it started, would be like a slap in God's face (which, let's face it, is never a good thing). It would be like saying "yeah, I know God, I have a beautiful, healthy family, a place to live, another blessing on the way, and a wonderful husband who adores me, but man...my ring! I want my ring! This is so unfair, blah blah blah." Yeah, probably not the best thing to do. So, goodbye ring. I hope you're making someone else very happy, I hope your putting food on someone's table who wouldn't otherwise have it, or a smile on some (very) lucky girl's face. Thank you for starting it all...job well done.

And a big thank you to all who prayed, hoped, tweeted, and commented that I would find it. Maybe one day.

So if we were really having coffee today, I would've just noticed that being the motor-mouth that I am, I've completely hogged all the conversation. So, how are you doing?

Now I'm that crazy lady who argues with herself...

2010-10-11T13:50:00.000-04:00

So today has been the kind of day where I just can't seem to get my shit done. Nothing crazy or out of the ordinary has happened (other than last week's fiasco); just my usual personal hurdles getting in the way. And by "my shit" that is exactly what I mean...mine. I cleaned up the kitchen a bit, did some laundry, hung out with Evie, brushed her teeth, changed her diaper, fed her, took out the dog, etc. etc. But I have not written anything (in weeks), read anything (in days), or studied anything (at all).

Honestly, I just don't want to, and I wish someone would tell me not to. I wish someone would say "You're 26 years old, raise your kids, relax during their naps, read what you want to read, and do the rest when they go off to school." Ahh, I can feel the weight lifting already. But really, if someone did say that to me I would just snap back "But I can't! I want a house! I have to somehow help pay for a house! I want to have already done something by the time my kids get to school. I need something that's just for me! I went to college, worked really hard, got my degree, and now I have to do something with it!" To which, of course, you would reply, "but you are doing something, you're raising a beautiful, smart little girl who will one day grow up to make the world a better place." I'll nod in agreement (because it's true) and then scream "but I want a house!" And back to square one we go.

See, no matter how hard you try, you won't be able to convince me that I should just relax, because something always comes up...it's never the right time. I can't just sit around and wait for someone to tell me "if you wait until you've had all your kids to go to grad school, it'll be a lot easier and you'll do great" or "if you sit at your computer today, you'll write something brilliant." Life just doesn't work that way, and I know it, but holy crap is it hard to get that motor started. In the long run, yes, I can make goals and tell myself I'll achieve them, but in the day-to-day I just can't make myself move. The only problem with that is that in order to get from A to C, one has to walk bravely up to B, tell him to get the F out of the way, clamor over him, and walk towards C. On a good day, I'm lucky if I look B straight in the eye without peeing myself.

So much lost...and yet, not?

2010-10-08T14:39:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I lost my engagement ring.

After having spent a beautiful day apple picking with my wonderful husband and brother (which is what this post was originally supposed to be about), I finished my day panicking, pleading, and in tears.

The day was great, but on the way home Evie got a little cranky so I sat in the back with her. She was getting more and more upset but seemed to calm down when I let her look at my ring. So we passed it back and forth a few times between our fingers, admiring the way it sparkled. Then I turned to the front of the car to add my two cents about something we were discussing. When I looked back a second later, it was gone. No big deal, we were in our car on our way home. I'd just get it when we got there. Except I forgot.

We pulled Evie out of the car, grabbed our bags, and went inside. It wasn't until after dinner (some 2 hours later) that I remembered my ring. I ran out to the car expecting it to be sitting in her car seat or on the floor. It wasn't. I tore that car apart, panicking a little more every second. It was gone.

In the next two hours, my husband, my in-laws, and I all searched the car and sidewalk inside out and up and down. I checked my clothes, bags, shoes...everything. No ring. It must have fallen out when we took Evie out of the car.

Guys...I lost my engagement ring. My beautiful, beautiful ring. The ring my husband was soo excited to give me that he couldn't wait till we got to our destination so he proposed right there in my bedroom as we were about to leave. The ring that he worked so so hard for and saved so so much for. The ring that I had just been admiring this past weekend as we attended a beautiful wedding. The ring that I cherished.

I know that, even after all of its beautiful memories (and its hefty price tag), at the end of the day it's still just a ring. Things could be worse. I could have been crying over something much more tragic. I know that I've been very very blessed in my life, so something like this shouldn't hold so much value. But you guys....he worked so hard. It's not losing the ring itself that makes me so upset, so much as it is the fact that I feel like I've disappointed my amazing husband; my amazing husband who didn't so much as raise his voice, or give me a look, or make me feel guilty, but rather assured me it would be ok, hugged me, kissed me, and told me it doesn't matter because I still married him...so the ring did it's job. I feel like I've let him down. Like, I foolishly lost something that I'll never be able to replace or pay back. I can't stop crying.

It's not in the street, and it's not in the house. The only thing left is to search the car one more time. Maybe it fell into a crack that I didn't notice in the dim light of the evening. So please, please pray.

I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, but I just can't seem to think of one for this. Is the lesson not to let my daughter play with important things? If so, lesson learned. But now I don't have anything more important to lose (not any material thing at least). Is the lesson to cherish my husband for the amazing and understanding man that he is because even when things get bad he doesn't waver? Is it to remember that we still have each other, and always will? I knew all these things. And other than believing in them a little bit stronger now, nothing has changed. I just can't see the lesson. It was just such a stupid thing to have done.

Virtual Coffee

2010-10-05T20:31:00.001-04:00

How on Earth is it Tuesday already? Actually, how on Earth is it Tuesday night already? This past week has just flown by (and yet dragged on all at the same time). Nevertheless, it's time for Virtual Coffee with Amy!

If we were really meeting up for coffee today, I would apologize for it being so late in the day...I have a cold and I'm not handling it well. I'd also have decaf tea because the last time I had caffeine after six, I was up until 4 in the morning (I guess they don't call it "Awake" tea for nothing).

I'd tell you that life moves way too fast. That a certain little girl who used to wear booties is now wearing big girl sneakers like mommy's...

I'd tell you that, upon realizing this, the hubby and I decided that said little girl needs a little brother or sister to ~~push around~~ love.

I'd then put on my goofy grin and tell you that I'm pregnant. Only 6 weeks so far, but tired, head-achey, hungry, hormonal, happy and excited (nervous) nonetheless.

Happy and excited because, um...hello...new baby!

Nervous because um...HELLO....new BABY!

{Mommies with more than one little one at home, please free to insert uplifting and reassuring advice here}

So that's it. The bomb I've been dying to drop for weeks; the reason I've been MIA more often than I'd like, and sadly, the reason I can't take anything for this horrible cold. But it's worth it, or at least it all will be sometime around May 29th. Can you smell the "new baby" smell already? I can.

A weekend in the mountains

2010-10-04T12:39:00.000-04:00

I spent my weekend here

or rather, in a bed and breakfast somewhere very far down and to the right of here. We went for the beautiful wedding of these two beautiful friends.

We had a blast. We mingled, explored, relaxed, ate (A LOT), took in the fresh (cold) air, dreamed, discussed, reminisced, planned, hoped, missed the little one, slept, and hiked (unexpectedly). We had a blast.

The scenery was, well...

breathtaking.

And the company, even more so.

We had such a wonderful time. And that breakfast I spoke so fondly of? It did not disappoint. In fact, it did not disappoint three times. What? I was only there two mornings you say? Welp, then I guess we my have accidentally (read: completely and totally on purpose) eaten two breakfasts on Sunday. We made up for it afterward with an hour and a half hike (read: crazy rock scramble through the sides of the mountain in dress shoes and completely flat ugg boots). What can I say, we were feeling spontaneous.

Later that afternoon, we came home to what we thought would be an over-joyed toddler, but what instead turned out to be a toddler who said "Hi" and then proceeded to throw herself on the floor and tell us "I fell down." Yep, that was it. No crazy "mommy, daddy I missed you" hugs. So, it seems Evie and her Abu had a fabulous weekend as well. But really, who can blame her? Her Abu is pretty fabulous and a heck of a lot more fun than mommy.

And just in case this post is getting a little too "life is wonderful, blah blah blah." I'll have you know that Evie decided she would wake up at 12:30 last night to teach me a lesson about my place in the world. She woke up screaming and demanding two more books, a snack, a cuddle, a diaper change, and a banana. It was 2:30am when she finally fell asleep, figuring, I'm assuming, that the lesson had sunk in.

So now it's noon, on Monday, and I'm exhausted...all is right with the world.

Virtual Coffee

2010-09-28T09:43:00.001-04:00

Goooood Morning! It's Tuesday, and that means it's time for Virtual Coffee with Amy.

On the menu for today are two slices of my (or rather, Tammy's) honey wheat bread generously smeared with butter. With that, a nice cup of coffee with buttercream creamer and a dash of cinnamon. Mmmm. Now if only Evie would let me have just a teensy bite of my bread.

So if we were really having coffee together, I would tell you that I'm super excited for this weekend. My friend Sandy is getting married! And while I'm all "woohooo!" for her, I'm also very excited to be going away for the weekend! Her wedding is at a mountain resort in NY, about a 2 hour drive from my house, so the hubby and I will be packing it up and staying 2 nights at a B&B. Evie, on the other hand will spend the weekend with my mom here at our house, which will probably mean cupcakes for breakfast, pizza for dinner, and finger painting with lipstick (just kidding mom...sort of). But really, they'll have a blast, they always do. I, however, will be missing her like crazy...but I'll deal =0)

Speaking of staying at a bed & breakfast, can I just tell you how incredibly excited I am for the breakfast part! Have you ever stayed at a bed and breakfast? Jimmy and I go somewhere every fall (except last) and we always stay at one. The breakfast is to DIE for! Just a few things we've had over the years: homemade pumpkin pancakes, homemade apple butter, homemade muffins and scones galore, delicious eggs benedict, some sort of yummy granola breakfast mixture....you get the point. It's always delicious, and I seriously can. NOT. WAIT!

As for the "bed" part of the B&B experience, this will be the first time in 18 1/2 months that I will get to "sleep in." Sure, there have been 1 or 2 times where I've been sick and have been allowed an extra hour or two, but this will be the first time that I don't have to get up if I don't want to. WOOOHOOO!

Ok, I feel like I'm sort of bragging now, so I'll stop.

WOOOHOOO!!

Ok. Now, I'll stop. Promise.

If we were really having coffee I'd also tell you that I'm dying to read a delicious new book, but that I swore I'd brush up on my "classics" for the GRE. So rather than reading the new Ken Follett this month, I'll be plowing through Dickens' Bleak House. Ever read it? Any good? I imagine it has to be. I mean Charles Dickens doesn't have his own English courses for no reason, right?

Let's see, what else? We'll have to get a car soon I think. Evie and I have started bible study on Weds. and it is not close by. So far we've gotten lucky with the weather and Jimmy's been able to take his bike, but I don't know how long that will last. We're thinking used?

In other news, Evie got a potty. It's early, I know. But I figured we'd get used to having it around. So far, she likes to put it on the floor, sit on it, and push off with her feet like it's a sled. She is not a fan of it when it's on the actual toilet.

Sadly, I don't have any more pictures to share with you guys because my camera charger just returned from it's 2 week vacation in Sandy's purse. But tomorrow (maybe Thursday hehe), I promise there will be many ;0)

And how has your week been?

Who wants plastic up their crotch? Not me.

2010-09-25T10:33:00.001-04:00

I have something on my mind that I'd like your opinion on. Cloth diapers--natural fibers or a blend? (sorry if this wasn't the kinky post you were hoping for...trying to keep it PG-13 people)

I've been meaning to post about the benefits of cloth diapering for a while, but with all the information already available on the issue, I thought it best not to be redundant. So, here's the short version:

We use cloth diapers because every time I would put a disposable into the trash I would shudder. Every time I spent $40 on a box of items that were going from box, to butt, to trash I would cringe. Every time I read about all the chemicals in disposables I would hyperventilate. So with the extra cash we got for Evie's first birthday, we invested in our first "stash."

Currently we have about:
10 pre-folds for lounging about the house
6 natural fiber, hand-made fitteds (paired with wool covers), also for lounging about the house
4 Bum Genius all-in-ones (AIO) with extra inserts for bed time
6 Bamboo/Cotton all-in-ones, 1 Dream-Eze AIO, and 2 Bum Genius Organic AIO for long trips out of the house.

With so many different choices, it's hard to decide which is best. Granted, they are all better than a disposable for various environmental and health reasons. But, honestly, I hate having so many different kinds. I find myself constantly saving the "good" ones for later or dreading that next pre-fold change. So that got me thinking, if I could re-do my stash, which diapers would be the best choice to stock up on?

Now, obviously, the safest choice is probably the natural fiber fitted with a wool cover, but boy does that get bulky, so it's hard to use it outside the home. The next best thing is probably something like the BG organic because the material against baby's sensitive parts is a natural organic fiber. But what about the outside? What about the polyurethane (PUL) and polyester used for waterproofing and absorbency? Technically speaking, it's like having oil and plastic in your diaper, and that freaks me out.

I thought I found the answer with my bamboo AIO. It was soft, super absorbent, trim fitting under clothes, and made of only natural fibers--or so I thought. Unfortunately, I recently found out that it also contains a blend of polyester in the outer shell (which wasn't too bad), and that inside the bamboo/cotton insert, it's filled with 100% polyester (this bothers me A LOT!). What's a girl to do? It's still a great diaper, and really no different than many of the other AIO's out there that use a mixture of fabrics, but I just can't see the point of switching from one kind of chemical (like bleach and dioxin in disposables) to another (like PUL in cloth). Sure, the first kind is far worse, especially since the chemicals in disposables come in direct contact with the baby's skin. But what if I don't want to support oil-based/plastic based products? What if I don't want any chemicals near my kid's crotch at all?

So many choices.

What do you guys think? For you cloth-diapering mammas--does the fabric making up your diaper concern you at all? Any one have any good suggestions for trim-fitting natural fiber dipes? I'd love to hear from you!

I have a blog?

2010-09-23T14:09:00.000-04:00

Well helllooo.

It's been a while. I'm sorry. I have no excuse. I've been lazy and needed (and probably still need) a break.

It's not you, it's me.

Not only have I not blogged, but I've also not read anything, or written anything, in about a month...a record for me. What have I been doing? Well, I've been napping, baking fattening snacks, scouring the internet for organic pjs, grocery shopping, cleaning, raising a toddler, teaching said toddler to stop putting things in her mouth, torturing myself about what I want to be when I grow up, organizing bathroom cabinets, learning how to use a new cell phone, etc. etc....the usual. However, I think it's time to get back in the game. With a mini hubby-wifey vacation next weekend (i.e. my friend's wedding), family parties up the hoo-hoo all month, and hopefully some apple picking somewhere along the line, I'll have plenty of stories and pictures to share. So...forgive me? I hope so.

Look at me babbling on and on about myself...and how are youuuu doing?

There's a crazy pastor in Florida?

2010-09-10T09:23:00.002-04:00

Today is Friday, and while I normally like to keep it light and happy for the weekend, I'm afraid today I can't. You see I've been under a rock this past week, so I only just heard about the crazy "pastor" in Florida who wants to burn hundreds of copies of the Koran on tomorrow's anniversary of the 9/11 attacks.

My first thought when I read the headline last night was, "this is a joke" or "I must have read it wrong." But sadly, it was neither a joke nor a misprint. A pastor (you know, like a RELIGIOUS leader) actually thinks it's a good idea to burn another religion's sacred book! At first I was relieved when I read that he had changed his mind, but today I woke up to this--he's undecided. What!? I'm not sure if I'm more outraged at his complete and utter ignorance and disrespect, or sad at the fact that this kind of crap still goes on today.

This is the year 2010, right? And we're supposed to be moving forward as a civilization, yes? Evolving into better people? Then why do I get the feeling that we're just the same old cave men dressed up in fancier clothes? And you know what...we may actually be worse, because we're supposed to know better. It's so disappointing.

It's almost like we suffer from "he did it first," syndrome. You know--that thing kids do when they suffer any sort of injustice. They throw it right back, harder, and shout "but he did it first!" It never solves anything, and it almost always ends up with both parties needlessly and often, very badly, hurt. That's what this "pastor" is doing.

I won't get into his "vision," (or how F*#@*%d up it is), because he doesn't deserve that kind of publicity and, honestly, it's already taking all of my self-control to not type obscenities in caps all over this page. I also won't try to preach my views to any of you, or get into the damage this guy would cause if he actually went through with his plan. However, I will say this: I am very grateful to my parents for raising my brother and I to be empathetic, caring people.

I say empathetic, because not only were we taught to understand and sympathize with the plights of others, but we grew up feeling for them (unfortunately, this is also the reason why I can't read or watch sad things late at night, or let's be honest...ever).

Anyway, one good thing did come from this whole ordeal, the reminder that while parenting (or teaching for that matter) can sometimes be boring, most of the time-exhausting, and almost always-frustrating, it truly is the most important job in the world. Seriously...in. the. WORLD! Because who else is going to teach your children to grow up and NOT burn Bibles or Korans? Who else is going to teach them to respect the beliefs of others? To be open-minded, and not judge? To be kind and sympathetic? To know the difference between right and wrong?

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure this pastor fellow had/has a loving mother, and she may or may not have done her best. I don't know her, and won't pretend to. But you know...someone dropped the ball.

So what good is our obsession with higher education, more money, fancy cars, and the ever-elusive "American Dream" if we can't even remember the basic principles of life? They don't teach Humanity 101 on in college, folks. It has to start at home. So whether or not I ever go to Grad school or write fancy books, I know that my life will have been worth something if only I succeed in one thing--raising good people.

And as for you "pastor"; I'm pretty sure God would slip you the pink slip if he could.

I'm such a slacker...

2010-09-09T12:55:00.000-04:00

I haven't blogged since last Friday. No virtual coffee or bigger picture moment either. Bad, bad blogger.

I'm not sure what my deal is, but I promise I'll get my mojo back soon. Until then, here are a few random things going on in my little world:

My kid is adorable. Yes, I'm a little biased because she's mine, but I dare you to contradict me after looking at these pics (a little blurry, sorry).

What can I say, the girl likes to pose.

On another note, I'm super excited that Fall is here (for me anyway)!! I've already started putting cinnamon on everything, I whipped out my Fall kitchen towels, bought Evie a new Fall picture book, and I intend on baking pumpkin bread as soon as I can get to the store for the ingredients! Oh and best of all? STARBUCKS HAS PUMPKIN SCONES!!!! YIPPPEEE!!! Seriously my favorite Starbucks treat ever!

On the writing front, I wrote a paragraph today. I know, whoop-die-do right? But hey, at least I got up at 6:30, completely ignored my emails and tweets (which took a LOT of strength), and wrote something. I probably would've written more, but as always, Evie can sense when I'm starting to unwind or get things done, so she woke up at 7. Tomorrow, I'm going to try for 5:30. Cross, your fingers and say a prayer because it's the only way I'll ever get anything done. I'm completely incapable of working at night, and Evie's naps are generally for showering, eating, laundry, and a few minutes of reading. And while I'm completely wiped out right now (not to mention dying from my allergies), I feel somewhat accomplished for having written my measly little paragraph.

And lastly, I thought I'd give you guys a heads up about a giveaway my friend Sandy is doing--four Kate Quinn Organics bodysuits for your little one! Contest ends September 15th so get your butt over there.

Anyone else being a total slacker? Feel free to tell me about it so that I don't feel so bad =0)

Sometimes you need crazy people

2010-09-03T13:17:00.000-04:00

I hope that, when she's my age, Evie will have wonderful friends in her brothers and sisters (whoever, and however many, they may be). I hope that she always has someone who will randomly swing by just when she needs it. Who will sit and laugh with her and reenact silly movies they saw. Someone who will sit and talk with her about their crazy parents and even crazier hereditary habits. Someone to help make mundane chores breeze by with wonderfully mundane conversation.

I hope she has this...

and some of these...

Of course, those same people will drive her crazy for the rest of her life,

but sometimes, crazy is just what you need.

Happy Friday!

Mom-ui

2010-09-01T12:57:00.000-04:00

I'd like to call to order the first meeting of The Procrastinator's Club. I'm president.

Don't want to do laundry, sweep the floor, or change the bed sheets? Pull up a chair. Today's topic is Mom-ui (a word I just made up so don't Google it). Ennui is the French word for a general feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction that stems from either boredom or lack of excitement/activity. MOM-ui, according to myself, is this same feeling caused by an excess of boring household/mommy activities that fail to elicit any sort of excitement whatsoever. In other words, doing the same crap, day after day, week after week, can get you down.

I mentioned in my Virtual Coffee post yesterday that I cleaned the house on Friday and that today (or rather, since Sunday) it is back to it's natural, dusty, hairy, messy state. I don't want to do it again. So, blah!

I also washed diapers over the weekend and now it's time to do it again. So, I sucked it up and dragged them down the two flights of stairs to the basement, and there they sit...in the dryer until later, not because I mind the washing part, but because I don't want to go back down and up the stairs again. As for the mountain range of regular laundry sprouting up in my bedroom? Forget it. I still have 2 pairs of underwear left. Or is it 2 pair? Whatever. Blah. Blah!

I made pancakes on Saturday. They were delicious and disappeared in two minutes. But you know what didn't? The griddle that is still sitting on my stove waiting to be cleaned and put away. At this point, I think I'll just leave it there until it's time to make pancakes again this weekend. Blah. Blah. Freaking Blah!

I've felt so very blah about everything that I even tried to take a nap during Evie's nap yesterday. Of course, she immediately sensed my relaxation and woke up 15 minutes later just as I had dosed off. Today, she's refusing to nap all together, lest I should dare attempt it again.

I don't want to write. I don't want to clean. I don't want to make appointments and go to them. I don't even want to read (now do you sense the seriousness of my situation)! What I need is a pair of life-jumper cables, so that I can steal just enough juice from someone else's battery to get me going.

But I'm not complaining or anything ;0)

Virtual Coffee

2010-08-31T09:36:00.001-04:00

I've been gone for a week, I know. I'm sorry. My only excuse is end-of-summer laziness.

I'm eager to get this heat over and done with, to pull out my sweaters and boots, and take leisurely strolls under amber-colored leaves (in someone else's town of course). I want to meet up with friends for lattes and pumpkin scones, and chat about babies and Halloween costumes, apple picking and hay rides.

But until then, let's close our eyes real tight (ok, just one eye if you have a crazy toddler running around with a spoon) and pretend. So, pick your favorite spot, mine is a cozy cafe in a little town; little nooks filled with comfy chairs, mis-matched mugs lined up on the handmade shelves, and a pastry case filled with homemade treats. And it's Fall damn it. I'd order my latte and tell you that...

~I finished reading Wuthering Heights, and I like Jane Eyre better.

~ On Friday, I cleaned my house from top to bottom, all while trying to keep an 18 month old entertained with anything I could find. It was quite a feat of endurance, and I was proud! But today, only 4 days later, It looks like a tornado stormed through it. It's enough to make a girl scream (or cry)!

~ On a brighter note, one of my favorite things about Evie is that she loves to "read,"

and I really hope it stays that way.

The only two things she likes as much (or more), are eating cookies

(thanks grandparents)

and playing in the dirt (or cement, as was the case on Saturday).

~ And now for more complaining. My husband is making me go to the dentist for a check-up AND I DON'T WANNA! But of course, he's right. So I need to find a good dentist, preferably someone who is gentle and specializes in traumatized, scaredy-cat patients. Know anyone?

~Which reminds me, I also have to take Evie to have her blood drawn for her lead test! I'm already 6 months late, but just thinking about it makes me want to throw up. I hate to see her cry.

As I write this, a certain someone is hiding behind my bed licking a crayon because I told her she couldn't eat it. So, yeah, gotta run...

It's nice to be back!

Don't forget to visit Amy, who hosts our virtual coffee link-up every Tuesday!

Virtual Coffee

2010-08-24T20:16:00.000-04:00

Every Tuesday the lovely Amy over at Lucky Number 13, does a "Virtual Coffee" post. Basically it's an online version of what would be said if two friends were actually meeting for coffee. This Tuesday she decided to link up, so I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon. Care to join us? Link up here.

So, if we were really meeting for coffee this morning I would tell you...

~ that I REALLY needed to meet up for coffee this morning because Evie woke up at 5:40. Tha'ts AM people! So, yeah, that'll be a VENTI vanilla latte please, and ALL THREE of the petite vanilla bean scones (I'm not sharing).
~ I would tell you that I started reading Wuthering Heights today and, only three chapters in, I am captivated (and quite honestly, itching to see Ralph Fiennes as Heathcliff).

~ Also, I made a list of all the books I still need to read in order to prep for my GRE Literature Test, and have come to the conclusion that in order to be considered a "literary classic" a book has to be either depressing or confusing--ten points to whoever manages both (I'm talking about you Mr. Faulkner).

~ And if we were, in fact, meeting up for coffee, I would definitely have my digital camera with me to show you this:

which,

while fun...

is also incredibly exhausting.

~ Lastly, I'd tell you that I still can't get Blogger to space my posts out properly...ARGGHH!!!

Well that about does it for me today.

How about you? Care to share?

Because people are nice...

2010-08-21T13:23:00.000-04:00

In this little world we call the "blogosphere", it is often easy to forget that people are nice. Sure, some people won't "follow" you, or tweet about you, or comment on your blog, but really...who cares? We blog because we have something to say, right? Something we want to share? We blog because we care about our family, our craft, the Earth, The Intergalactic Federation of Cheese...whatever. The point is, we do it to connect. Whether it's with people or aliens, that's your business, but I think it's safe to say that if you blog you like to share.

So today, I'm going to share.

The other day, someone I've never met, said something nice about my blog and I was surprised. And then, I was surprised that I was surprised (I'll give you a second to re-read that). The reason I was so surprised is because we SHOULD be saying nice things to each other and we SHOULD be helping one another out...just for the hell of it.

So without further explanation here are a few people/things I wanted to share with you for no other reason other than we're people, they're people...and we're all nice.

1. Lucky Jade
The lovely people over at Lucky Jade have come up with my new absolute favorite baby product ever. A soft, eco-friendly, baby-friendly cloth diaper that (in my opinion) doesn't need a cover! With it's bamboo/cotton velour outer and bamboo/cotton fleece inner, this sucker stays soft and dry without the hassle of those annoying plasticky covers (sorry, they're just not my fave). Anyway, I love these diapers soo much that, if you're interested, I may even buy a set to give away to you guys. That's how great they are. Just thought you should know. And no, I don't know anyone at Lucky Jade and I didn't get any free diapers to pitch to you. I just really love them. You can purchase these awesome diapers here. Which brings me to my next shameless plug of stuff I LOVE...

2. Vivi Bambini
I know, I know, I've mentioned them quite a few times and they're in my sidebar, but whatever, we're friends...deal with it. Other than having my favorite diapers, Vivi Bambini is having an ongoing summer sale on popular brands like Misha Lulu and Tea (I already stocked up!) and will be getting in a BOATLOAD of super-cute, Earth-friendly Fall stuff (I think on Monday?). So check out the site this coming week for updates.

3. Barley and Birch
In case you don't know who they are (an awesome children's clothing company), here's a little info from their Facebook Page:

"Our children's clothing is made in the USA using 100% certified organic cotton and water-based inks. (They don’t pollute the earth, water, or expose farm workers to toxins.) Also, at least 15% of our profits go to several carbon-reducing initiatives in order to fully offset the carbon emissions that result from the production of our garments. And at least another 15% goes to organizations that improve people’s lives around the world."

Now, it seems they are in the running for a SheKnows.com Parent's Choice Award (winner to be determined by votes). And because I think they're doing something really great for our kids, I think you should go over there and vote.

4. Little Owls

My other favorite cloth diaper is Jessica's Little Owls. I first "met' Jessica in the spring when I was looking for an organic, natural-fiber diaper for Evie without the added Poly-whatever-you-call-it outer. I was sold when I saw that Jessica's fitteds are made with a knit cotton and organic cotton fleece (and she sells a great wool soaker to go with it)! Check her out at her blog The Hip (Single) Mama or her Etsy shop.

Alright, well I think that's it for today.

Honestly, I'm only sharing this because I believe in all these people/products and I think they deserve a chance to be seen. Often times we're so caught up in our own world, that we forget that there are other people out there really busting their butts to do something good for the world. I think it's important to do our part to help them.

Google Search: "How to entertain a toddler" Google Answer: GOOD LUCK!

2010-08-19T12:29:00.000-04:00

It's been two and a half months since I turned in my lease. Two and a half months of scheduling trips to the supermarket. Two and a half months of Googling "rainy day activities" (even though the sun could not be brighter) and "how to entertain a toddler." Two and a half months of walking 7 blocks to the park in 100 degree weather only to find all the the mommies packing up to leave. Two and a half months of reminding myself to be patient and calm.

It's been two and a half months...

and I'm ok.

No, I have't turned to prescription drugs. I haven't started drinking. I haven't taken up smoking. I've only just figured out how to get by; waking up a few minutes earlier than Evie to enjoy a shower and a little internal pep talk, keeping the place relatively neat so that I don't lose myself in the "oh my God, I live in chaos" moments, and then taking a few minutes during nap time to be completely selfish and read. Some days suck. There's no nice way to put it. But for the most part, we're doing ok.

But God help me it's taking all of my creative energy to keep this little one engaged:

Sometimes we go to the park to climb stairs, chase birds...

pick up sticks...

display said sticks...

recycle the unwanted ones...

and hoard the rest for later.

{may God help you if you try to take them away.}

Other days, we make do with whatever we find lying around. Be it old cups, spoons, dishwasher racks, and a little stuffed dog. Whatever works, right?

Then there are the times when Evie needs more than a little bit of distracting. So we whip out the ever sought after (and oh so tasty, ugh) crayons.

{Please, hold your gasps at my brilliant artwork.}

Then, of course, there's the always impressive bakeware-band...

where we rock out with spoons...

for a total of FIVE minutes.

That's where the fort comes in.

Although, at the end of the day, its cozy atmosphere with it's fluffy pillows seems to draw the wrong crowd...

the sneaky, tired daddy looking for a good place to nap.

Speaking of naps, Evie's been in her crib for an hour now NOT NAPPING, so I have no time to come up with a witty ending for you.

That's all you get--my husband in a fort.

Today's going to be a long one.

10 things you don't know about me...

2010-08-17T12:39:00.000-04:00

and probably don't care to, but this is as much of a "post" as my brain can handle at the moment.

1. I hate taking off my makeup or washing my face. I'd rather take a whole shower.
2. I am not a fan of roses. Gerbera daisies are my fave.
3. I can only have tea or coffee with a snack. Never by themselves.
4. I bite my nails. Ugh! I know.
5. At one point in my life I had a total of eight piercings.
6. Honeycombs (or any other indented pattern like that) FREAK ME THE F' OUT!
7. I can't cook white rice.
8. I can't watch movies where animals die.
9. I once dreamt that there was a cricket on my head. I woke up, and there was.
10. I'm PETRIFIED of crickets!

I promise to be back with something more "profound" on Thursday. Until then, what are a few things I don't know about you?

My daughter...

2010-08-14T22:42:00.000-04:00

~ The Actress ~

~ The Ballerina ~

~ The Artist ~

I think I see a lot of chauffeuring back and forth between after school activities in my future, but man is she the coolest chick I know!

And yes, those are tampons in her hand. She discovered them in the bathroom one day and seems to think they're spoons. I can't pry them away from her without kicking off World War III, so spoons they'll be.

A Room of One's Own...

2010-08-11T11:31:00.000-04:00

Well, sort of.

Welcome to my favorite new space.

My very own little corner of solitude and prettiness.

No boys or toddlers allowed!

Sure, I'm literally under my kitchen counter,

next to last night's pizza box,

and across the room from a sink full of dishes...

{how's that ^ for real life}

But if I angle myself ever so slightly to the right, it doesn't exist.

It's just me, my favorite notebooks, my favorite lamp, my favorite pen, and a little English Honor Society pin to remind me that at one point, someone thought I knew what I was doing. Ha!

Now, I just have to sit back, drink my coffee, and write.

Or not write.

Hello, blank screen!

And the little one?

Well, in order for me to retire to my new little nook, she has to be sleeping.

Otherwise...

Yeah.

Hellooo, super-fun roll of wax paper!

I wonder what Virginia Woolf would think.

I guess God emailed my husband and CC'ed me

2010-08-09T14:19:00.000-04:00

So, I think I have my answer.

Last week, I posted about needing an email address for God, so that I could get a quick, straight answer to the many questions swirling around in my head. Apparently, it doesn't work that way. Who would've thought?

Anyway, while I may not have a direct address, I do have an intelligent, considerate, supportive husband who listens to my endless prattling and is more than happy to give me his take on things. Somehow, I forgot that. When I finally remembered and sought out his opinion, I got what I had been looking for.

After going back and forth about Grad school and writing and children and moving and jobs and blah, blah, blah, we decided to take things slowly. I'm going to start studying for my GREs again, and hopefully take them in the Spring. I am going to take my time researching schools and programs and maybe begin applying next year. Jimmy (the hubby and my free therapist) is going to research new job opportunities, so that we can get the ball rolling (albeit slowly) on a new home. We're going to to take things one step at a time, as opposed to my usual three yard leaps, and that's ok.

How the heck do I know this is the answer I was supposed to be "listening" for? I know because my heart is calm and I'm at peace. It sounds cheesy, I know. I don't like cheese either, but it's true. Before our little talk last week I was a mess; a tangled knot of nerves and an overly active mind. I'm no longer scrambling to apply to next fall's semester, not truly knowing whether or not I'm meant to go. And I'm not up half the night, trying to weave the scattered threads of a hundred potential books together to make a whole. I'm going to take my time and listen, and see how things go.

So, there's my answer.
I'm at peace, and I hope to stay here a while. At least until my next harebrained scheme arises.

And so it begins...

2010-08-06T11:49:00.000-04:00

She's wearing my clothes.

Granted, I put her in them...this time.

But before I know it we'll be fighting over sweaters and shoes.

I can't wait!

Happy Friday everyone!

{In case you're wondering, that's a very cool t-shirt that

says "Pippi Rules" and indeed she does}

A Tuesday road-trip

2010-08-04T13:07:00.000-04:00

Is there anything better than a long drive spent sipping coffee and chatting with a friend? Well, yes, arriving in a quaint little town for a 'girls only' lunch and some antiquing.

My Tuesday was heavenly; spent with my best girl Evie and my dear friend Sandy.

There was no defrosting a quick lunch, no hurrying about between chores, and no toddler tantrum to deal with. We ate real, beautiful food, discussed and unloaded about life, dreamt about things to come, and laughed and smiled more times than I can count.

Someone even, quite literally, stopped to smell the flowers...

and inspect the rocks.

We visited an antique store (yes.."an." we forgot to check to see if everyone would be open on a Tuesday...which they weren't), and drooled over such lovely findings that you immediately wondered why anyone even bothers to buy anything "new." In fact, had I not already been lugging a 25 pound bag and a 25 pound toddler, I most certainly would've left with two tables, a set of tea cups, and at least a dozen books. But alas, one children's book and an old glass milk bottle was all that made it to the counter.

As the day drew to a close, we stopped at a local cafe to refuel for the ride home. A cafe that once you open it's doors, greets you with the most enchanting smell of coffee and cookies you could have ever imagined. Where, said coffee is organic and fair-trade, and the cookies home-made.

And when a little girl was offered one of those delicious cookies (for being so incredibly good), only if she sat down to eat it. That little girl took the offer very seriously, and sat down indeed...

right where she was standing,

in the middle of the sidewalk...

Because that's just how we roll.

Anyone have an email address for God?

2010-08-02T13:27:00.000-04:00

Don't you sometimes wish you could just email God and wait for a reply? When making a big decision (as I am currently trying to do), I like to research, outline and weigh my options. However, I'm also an avid fan of the "whatever is meant to be, will be" strategy. I grew up on that one, and learned the latter. But it's very difficult to combine the two.

I have practical friends, enablers really, who will hash out a good pro/con list with me any day. And then I have more spiritual friends who tell me to wait and listen; something I find very difficult to do because I never know what I'm listening for. Did that song that just played on the radio tell me to go for it? Am I having a hard day as a mom, because I need to realize that I can't take on any more responsibility? Are we still where we are because we need to learn to be grateful for what we have and stop asking for more? Or are we just not trying hard enough?

I am very, very good at rationalizing just about anything. I don't trust myself to listen for what I'm really meant to hear.

If only I could just send an email.

And the winners are...

2010-08-02T08:07:00.000-04:00

Corinne and Jodi Faye !!! Here's the proof...

Corinne was the fifth comment for the birdie saying: "And follow you via friend connect :) (is it ok to put that if we do it already? If not just don't mind me...) (birdie!)"

Jodi was the 51st Owl comment saying: "Follow I Am...Many Things with Google Friend Connect"

Congratulations ladies!! I will be emailing you for your contact information and mailing out your beautiful prizes as soon as I can. Enjoy them!

<3 Thank you, everyone, for taking part in my first giveaway <3

No fear

2010-07-29T11:25:00.000-04:00

My little girl

is not afraid to get dirty,

Or take on things

much too big for her.

She doesn't care that she's much too little

to climb to the top by herself,

or take that necessary next step.

She just wants to greet the world...

And looks at me

wondering

what the heck I'm waiting for.

Good question Evie. Thank you for the reminder.

~*~

p.s. Don't forget to enter my very first giveaway...adorable handmade toddler backpacks!

My dear bloggie friend Corinne is hosting Bigger Picture moments this week. Head on over and link up. Hyacynth will be hosting next week.

Blah, blah, blah...

2010-07-28T11:13:00.000-04:00

Today's post will be a little bit of mindless rambling (please don't run away). Or at least I will try to let it be because I'm addicted to editing myself; constantly checking the placement of comas and what not. But today I just don't feel like it.

You see, I've come to a bit of a crossroads (I'm not even going to look up if it's crossroad or crossroads, ha!).

I'm a goal setter. It seems I don't allow myself to be happy unless I have some sort of goal ahead of me. Sure, we all have long term goals; buy house, have kids, get a better job, etc. But I'm talking about "get off your butt and do this" type of goals (whatever "this" happens to be at the moment). I can never just be. So...

I wanted to finish college-check.
I wanted to get a job in publishing-check.
I wanted to start my family-check!
I wanted to quit said job in publishing-double check.
I wanted to send out more query letters about my children's books-check (rejected, but check nonetheless).
I wanted to work on my writing, every day, like a real writer does- ooops.
I want to go to grad school? ...
I want to be an English Professor? ...
I want to be a mother of 3 or 4 AND go to grad school AND be an English Professor AND be a published author? ...

I think someone needs to slap me.

I've been home with Evie for 16 months now and I have yet to do any of the "work from home" stuff I said I was going to do. I never got into freelance editing, I never wrote a book (a big book, not a children's book), I never even figured out what I wanted to write about. How on Earth did I imagine I was going to pull of the rest?

Part of me says that I get more done when I'm busy. And yes, that's true to an extent, when I don't have anything significant to do, I often don't bother doing anything at all. But grad school? Teaching? Writing? And more kids? That's a whole lot of significant.

And what if I do go to grad school...it costs money (something I tend to forget). What if I can't get a job, or worse, I get a job and then hate it. Personally, I'd be happy coming away from grad school with just the knowledge I gain, but this is the real world, knowledge doesn't keep the 3-4 children clothed.

And then there's the writing...
Right now I probably have the most free time I'll ever have, and that's not saying a lot. If I'm not writing now, how can I be so sure that I will when I'm in school or teaching?

Maybe the best writers are those who have lived a bit more. I'm only 26, what the heck do I know about the world beyond my little cozy bubble of family, friends, and books? Maybe the book I want to write is hiding somewhere, ten years down the road because I'm not ready to write it yet. Maybe I need to experience more, learn, and live more before I can write anything of significance. Or maybe that's all just a load of crap and I should just write down whatever nonsense comes to mind and see where it goes.

Blah, blah, blah...that's what I sound like in my head right now, so I can just imagine what you're hearing as you read this. A giant thank you to anyone who hung on this long.

If only I had a magic eight ball for life.

I'm terrible at making decisions. I can research the heck out of something, and present you with the most wonderfully outlined plan of execution for each option, but when it comes to deciding I can't choose between burgers or hot dogs. Ask my husband what it's like to pick a restaurant with me...drives him nuts.

Maybe I should've been a librarian.

My very first giveaway - Toddler Backpacks!

2010-07-26T13:03:00.000-04:00

For all of the wonderful readers who make this blog possible, I have a special treat for you today...

My very first giveaway! Just in time for the back-to-school season.

As a little girl (and really, who am I kidding, as an adult), I've always loved back-to-school shopping. The crayons in all their multi-colored glory lined up perfectly in their little boxes. A new notebook; that first blank page just waiting to be filled with beautifully hand-written notes. The pens, the pencils, and the backpacks!

Oh my...the backpacks!

How I wish these were around when I was a kid.

Meet Heather Valentine, proprietor of, and creative

genius behind, The Sewing Loft.

I met Heather one day while shopping at my favorite local children's store Vivi Bambini. She was dropping off a new batch of adorable ToadStool backpacks and Doodle Travel Kits and I couldn't help but introduce myself. We started talking and sharing stories. A few weeks later, I started this blog and I just knew I had to share her with you.

In a time when companies all around the world are looking to make a quick buck with substandard products and questionable materials, it's so refreshing to come across a respectable business woman like Heather. Not only are her collections beautifully handmade right here in the U.S., but they are responsibly produced using a combination of post-consumer and re-purposed fabrics.

"I really love to breath new life into something that I have 'reclaimed.' It gives me a sense of satisfaction knowing that in my own small way, I am making a difference and reducing my overall imprint. Some of my favorite things to use are men's shirts, denim, t-shirts (I have them cut into yarn and use them for my drawstrings), little girls' dresses and linens."

Having ogled over her stuff myself, I can tell you that the quality of her work is remarkable. Each item is unique and the colors and patterns blend seamlessly to create a final product that looks as if it's been plucked straight out of your child's imagination. And in Heather's case, that isn't too far from the truth:

"Honestly, I'm just a big kid at heart. But really my children inspire me the most. They love to draw and I think it's cool to turn their sketches into something real and touchable. I try my best to put all the details into them."

Now here's the fun part. Heather has provided me with two adorable bags to giveaway to two very (and I mean very) lucky readers.

{Owl Backpack}

{Birdie Drawstring}

Evie will be very sad to part with them, as she very much enjoyed her job in quality control, but a promise is a promise so here we go:

Contest Rules

Important: For each entry please specify the bag you would like to win - owl or birdie. Also, remember to leave a valid email within one of the comments so that I can contact you if you win.

1. Visit The Sewing Loft on Etsy and leave a comment here telling me about your favorite product. (This is a mandatory entry, so don't forget, k?)

2. Follow I Am...Many Things with Google Friend Connect and comment that you did, if already a follower just comment saying so.

3. "Like" The Sewing Loft on Facebook and leave a comment saying you did

4. Follow me on Twitter and comment that you do.

5. Tweet about this giveaway with a link back to the giveaway(once/day, one entry/tweet)

6. Grab my new button from the sidebar and share (worth 2 entries)

7. And just for fun...what's you favorite book? (or movie if you don't like to read)

So that's 8+ ways to win! More, if you tweet once a day for the length of the contest.

The contest will run from today July 26th-August 1st, and is part of the Green Giveaway Monday series over at Eco-Friendly and Frugal.

For those of you dying to get your hands on one of Heather's beautiful pieces now, she's offering a discount on her Etsy shop for all new Facebook fans, and Sandy of Vivi Bambini has graciously offered to do the same. Just contact them through their sites and mention this blog for a coupon code.

Good luck everyone!

Just so ya know...

On Aug. 1st, comments will be closed and all entries separated into two groups (owl,birdie). Two winners will then be drawn at random using a random number generator, and contacted via email. You have 48 hours to respond before someone else is selected at random.

The Sewing Loft generously provided me with two free bags for two of my lucky readers. I was not under any obligation to write a positive review of their products. All opinions expressed are my own. I was not paid to write this review.

For the first time in over a year...

2010-07-23T21:21:00.000-04:00

Something incredible happened today!

For the first time in about a year,

Evie curled up next to me

and took a nap!

Pure heaven!

Happy Friday everyone!

Hope to see you all on Monday for my very first giveaway!

2am - The Bigger Picture

2010-07-22T08:32:00.000-04:00

2am

You call out my name.

No crying, no whining, just

"Mommy."

Nothing gets me out of bed quicker.

I scoop you up into my arms

and you nuzzle in close to my neck.

"Do you need a snack?"

More nuzzling.

"Do your gums hurt?"

More nuzzling.

We tiptoe around the bed,

and across the cold, dark floors of our small apartment,

into the kitchen.

"Milkaa."

We drink some milk in our favorite chair,

Snuggled under blankets,

rocking back and forth.

You lay your head full of curls on my chest,

and I'm reminded of how easily we used to both fit on our chair.

Back when you were tiny and new.

In those days I would have turned on the lights,

changed your diaper,

frustrated the silence with all the chaos,

and then begged you to go back to sleep.

Now we sit here,

rocking back and forth,

in the dim light of the moon.

We know each other so well.

You don't normally like to be doted on

But tonight,

You let me stroke your cheek,

and tousle your hair,

and hold you just a bit longer.

Tonight is a gift.

"Mommy"

Even at 2am

the word sounds sweet.

~ * ~

Head over to Maegan's to join in this week! Corinne will be hosting next week

Resetting the day...at 9am

2010-07-20T09:45:00.000-04:00

I'm hitting the reset button on today.

It's only 9am but oh boy do I need to reset. Evie woke up at 5:50am! Really it's only an hour and ten minutes earlier than she normally wakes, but man does she need that hour. And those ten minutes? Absolutely necessary!

At first she was fine. I was fine. Then we went into the kitchen. I've never seen anyone be so demanding without using a single word. It's quite impressive actually. She just grunts. She extends out her arm, palm opening and closing, and grunts. No big deal right? Just a little harmless grunting. No. It gets louder. And angrier. And before you know it you are seamlessly and accurately translating those grunts into what they truly are, demands. "Give me my mother f'in breakfast, lady! It's quarter to seven in the morning. I'm tired. My gums hurt. And I just KNOW you're taking me to the doctor later. Don't even try to lie, I heard you begging daddy to come with us. Cheerios! Now!"

So Cheerios she got. Apparently, however, I wasn't spooning them into her mouth fast enough. More grunting.

At this point, I'm not happy. It's early, I'm tired, and I don't want to go to the damn doctor either. I envy my husband, all cozy in bed because he has the day off. I envy the dog, all cozy on the couch because he has every day off. I envy my mother who always tells me about all the fun she had with us when we were little. I envy all the other mommy bloggers that I read. The ones who manage two, three, four-plus children and still manage to post about the beauty of life.

So, I tried to get her to come cuddle with me in bed. Maybe she would relax and I would relax, and we could both start our days over. But no, my kid doesn't cuddle. She's sweet and affectionate, but she doesn't cuddle. She wanted to play, so we played. She wanted to read, so we read. She wanted to be left alone, so I left her alone. She wanted to scream, cry and bite. Yup, bite! And that was the end of that. Nap time at 8:30 in the morning.

Reset.

Today will not undo me. I will post about beauty damn it.